Monthly Archives: July 2012

Descriptions of Myself

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10:30am July 26, 2012. Candid, while blowing cellulose insulation.

I’ve noticed lately when I introduce myself, I rarely offer a simple description- it usually goes something like this.

“I’m a mechanical engineer doing project management for residential and small commercial projects interested in energy efficiency and sustainability.”

Tonight, the fatigue from 4 overtime days strips away any confusion.  I look at myself in the mirror and humbly accept what I am doing with my time:

“I am a contractor.

We do heating, cooling, and insulation.”

A short exchange at a social event this evening reminds me: I should offer new acquaintances the opportunity to get to know me better on the merit of their own questions and interest rather than imposing my descriptions on them.  For those who seek depth, they won’t come up shallow.  For those that don’t, I won’t be distracted.

The results of my direct efforts for one day. What did you actually *do* today?

Entity

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One of my favorite NOLS instructors left our course with a short piece of wisdom- “Climb things that inspire you.”

This past weekend was dominated by a commitment to shuttle some friends to their put-in for a rafting trip on the Salmon River, and while I wasn’t able to convert the trip to Idaho into climbing anything big, I was able to exploit the opportunity for a little spontaneous adventure.  My weekends this summer are filling fast, and none of my Missoula friends were free to get dragged into a 200 mile shuttle mission, so I found myself outside North Fork, Idaho yesterday morning with no plans, no partners, and staring at the continental divide.

Mission Accomplished. Safe travels to Crow and Kelly!

I realized these were the Idaho side of some of the mountains that had caught my eye when I drove the Big Hole valley in June.  Rarely do I find myself without a plan, but it felt fun to let the mountains inspire me, and the plans to follow.  I didn’t have a map of the region, and hadn’t done any research, but honestly it didn’t matter.  GoogleMaps on my phone got me to the base of an old jeep trail, and my feet took care of the rest.  Sometimes  not knowing where you are going takes you to places even better than what you might have planned for.

Inspiration abounds.

I left the car at 5,400′ with a light pack of bivy gear and and angst to get out.  4.5 hours later I had ticked two summits over 10,000′ and found the perfect bivy spot.  Before I left, my loose plan was to tick as many summits as possible in 24 hours, but my fractured foot wasn’t up to it, and frankly I’m a little out of shape for all day scrambling.  My goals shifted to simply play in the mountains until my body said stop.

Random jeep roads to… nowhere?

I had a lot on my mind.  My friend Andy left Missoula on Friday afternoon- the depth and strength of our friendship is unquestionable, but his departure left me with some loneliness in my heart.

Looking back at the first summit of the day.

From the first summit- my next objective.

Work has been racing lately, and while the big picture remains fulfilling, the day to day responsibilities aren’t always pretty.  I’m really not looking forward to this week at work, and making peace with how I’ve chosen to spend my time in Missoula requires regular maintenance.

Moving fast and high in the mountains is what it’s all about.

Without a partner, I limited myself to easy scrambling and fast hiking- but the solitude also left me open to explore the loneliness and doubt.  Strangely the peace I’ve normally found by pushing hard through beautiful wilderness remained illusive.

Tired legs. Looking at the Big Hole valley from Monument Peak, 10, 320′.

After summit number 2, I dug out my bivy gear high on the ridgeline, in prime position for an epic sunrise, and hopefully (unsuccessfully) away from the bugs .  There, high on the ridgeline, I remembered how I felt traveling last year- the freedom, the solitude, the joy.  I listened to one of my favorite pieces of music, “Entity” by Tim Reynolds, and the vision I have for my life snapped back into focus.  Sleep came quickly, and sunrise was as perfect as expected.

First light, July 22, 2012.

Morning glow.

Bivy.

Sleeping at altitude left me with a headache in the morning, and with my foot aching, I knew it was time to head for home.  For whatever reason, the peace of the previous evening didn’t hold, but the vision I have for my life remained vivid.  I enjoyed the hike down, and pushed out the drive home in time for a productive Sunday afternoon.

“Refuse to allow anything to impact the vision you hold for yourself, and the person you seek to become.  Whether or not you feel that you are that person in this moment, your vision for who that is, is a real possession that you can find satisfaction in.  If you don’t feel like you have a vision for yourself right now, try to create one- chances are it doesn’t include whatever it is that is bothering you.  With that vision comes a plan for your life, and inner joy that is rooted in substance.”

A Picture of My Life- 4.22.08

No Sweat

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It’s been hot here in Missoula lately, so I’ve been chasing adventures that tend to keep me cool.  I haven’t succeeded in not sweating, but I certainly have had a lot of fun.  Just as Ramesh and I got back from Glacier National Park last week, my close friend Andy (and his lovely lady Sarah) rolled in from Chicago.  They’re out backpacking in the Bitterroot now, but wanted to check out Missoula and catch up before they checked in to the deep wild.

We hit the Clark fork in the canoe last Sunday, but the Clark Fork hit us back with some spicy rapids and strong flows.  There was no shortage of getting wet, but that also meant there was a shortage of photos.  Boats were flipped, a few minor pieces of gear got lost, but the smiles stayed on and we made an adventure of it.

One of the rare photos of me and Andy- on the far end of Como Lake.

Wednesday night Andy and Sarah were ready to head in, and despite a full on week of work, I made a last minute decision to sneak out with them for a night in the woods.  We took off out of Missoula at 530, made a few stops on our way to Como lake, and started hiking around 8pm.  We made camp at 10pm, I slept until 5, and then hobbled as best as I could back to the car to drive into work.  It was a long commute that I sincerely did not mind.

If only every commute could start with this view…

Saturday I got the climbing itch, bad, and knew I’d be far from adventure activities due to some upcoming work commitments, so I tracked down a partner and headed out for an easy romp up No Sweat Arete (4p, 5.7, II) in Mill Creek.  Overcast skies kept temperatures reasonable, and after over a month of being off the rock, getting in a few pitches felt awesome.  My right hand is still well injured from tearing a pulley in early June, but my foot is coming back together nicely so mellow terrain was in order.  There’s still nothing I enjoy quite like a nice multipitch outing.

I still don’t know if this is actually the first pitch…

Jen- figuring it out, backpack and all.

Major props to my new friend Jen for completing her first multi-pitch climb, and carrying a sizable pack to boot.  Now that I know the route, we’ll take less stuff next time… thanks for a great day out lady!

Still smiling after pitch 4… only one more to go.

One off the top for good measure. And yes, there is a 1,000ft unclimbed wall behind me…

Like Civilized Men

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I spent last week introducing an old friend to new places and new ideas- safe to say we both learned a few things and had a hell of a good time.  Ramesh showed up from Houston on Tuesday morning.  I took care of a few work items, while he explored downtown and hiked “the M.”  I wrapped up work and we started a 5 day blitz of all that western Montana had to offer: live music, rodeo, pow-wow, Walmart (really?), downtown Missoula, BBQ, fireworks, Big Dipper Ice Cream, and wilderness.  With the last piece being the most important, I knew that Glacier National Park more than anywhere else, was probably just the best place to introduce my friend to the wilderness for the first time.  The photos tell the story better than I can:

Lake McDonald. Gateway to Glacier National Park.

The boat I borrowed was still there after 160 miles…

Boat + Car + Mountains = Adventure

Ramesh learns to move some water- and rock a cowboy hat.

Kintla Lake = Perfection.

My friend opened his heart to this place, and had more questions than I had answers to.

High country.

Learning the skills. Ramesh was happy to nail the flint and steel, and I was happy to nail the photo!

An evening with civilized men.

Our paths since living together in college have differed, but sharing time in the wild was the  perfect way to reconnect.  The opportunity to share my love and skills for traveling in these places was sublime.  We enjoyed perfect weather, a perfect route, and perfect conversation.  There’s too much even to blog about, and more on the way- stay tuned.

Tech details: Day 1- drive to Polebridge, MT, get a little lost, find Kintla Lake, canoe to lower Kintla backcountry camp.  Day 2- reload gear, backpack to upper Kintla Lake backcountry camp, then day hike to snowline below boulder pass, Day 3- hike back to boat at Lower Kintla, canoe to car, drive to Missoula for epic dinner with more new friends.

Portland #5: Out to Sea

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“Portland is like the ex-girlfriend you talk about too much.”
My friend pointed this out towards the end of a nightcap a while ago.  I found her suggestion both accurate and somewhat snarky.  It was the truth however, and I felt no shame in acknowledging it.  Emotions have been swinging lately- foot pain, lethargy, and loneliness mixed with equal parts music, food, and professional success seem to make stability illusive.

Moonlight on clouds above the Clark Fork- an ideal setting to do some thinking.

My broken foot has kept me away from most of my stabilizing and affirming summer activities (climbing, running, hiking, etc.), and I dislike the prospect that my running season is likely over for the year.  No surprise that I’ve been feeling a gaping void in my life without these things to fill in.  Summer is here in earnest, and while the void has been partially filled with BBQs, music, and new activities (like canoeing?  I haven’t been in a canoe in years…), I’ve found it easy to slip back into the frame of mind that yes, life was better in Portland.

I think about the process of moving to Portland in 2007 (the last time I really moved to a new place permanently), and realize that the deep and painful self-inspection and re-creation of myself that I went through during my early time there masked the challenges of embracing a new place and new people.  Embracing the new things seemed secondary and easier than the more immediate challenges of addressing some problematic issues at the core of my character.  Here in Missoula, my goals seem bigger and I expect more of myself, and thus the challenges may seem harder (fun to note that the challenges I’ve struggled with are consistently related to the goals I described when I moved here).

Was showing my new roommate around Missoula last Friday and stumbled upon a classic car show “cruising the strip”. Small town American west at it’s best.

I found myself reading a stellar blog by Liz Clark (patagonia surfing ambassador and world traveler extraordinair) last night, and somehow it reminded me that while Portland was an important part of my experience, that was then and it isn’t now.  I left that place because I stopped finding magic happening there.  Where the magic happens is almost always just outside of your comfort zone. I’m out to sea on my journey, and while it occasionally isn’t as pretty or fun as Ms. Clark’s, it’s mine, and being outside the comfort zone (that perhaps Portland represents to me right now) is a good sign that I’m doing it right.

I think this is what I’m exploring on this journey. Saw this on facebook originally, but found online here: http://www.highexistence.com/images/view/where-the-magic-happens-vs-your-comfort-zone-2/