Lately I’ve been asked for advice a lot. I’ve had an opportunity to support friends, face my own insecurities, and strive for an outcome greater than expected. Often this has had to do with my relationships to other people. We’ve all had those moments, looking back thinking “god I hope I never make that mistake again.” And usually, mistakes are repeated before the lesson is learned. We are human, and it takes us a few times around the block to figure out how the pedals work- often longer. A few of the lessons that have stood out to me lately:
- Figure out what you really want. Often said, rarely done.
- What you really want doesn’t have anything to do with who you think the other person is, or what they want. It’s about you.
- Be yourself, stay close to yourself, be as true to what you want for yourself, and want for the world as you can possibly be.
- When you figure out what you want, be discerning about going to get it. Pursue it ruthlessly- if what you are doing right now isn’t getting you there, stop doing it, and try something else.
- It is incredibly difficult to be discerning enough in our relationships. The act of discerning can seem incredibly difficult, but only because it is obvious- the unseen pitfalls that are certain to come with a lack of discerning are much, much deeper.
- It only hurts when we clutch it too tightly.
I publish these thoughts here mostly to remind myself of them later. Walk the line of discernment, and keep company that will walk that line with you.
“Real friends are willing to make sure that next week’s you is better than this week’s you.” (Mark Twight)