I spent 13 hours today getting crushed at work. It was day 1 on-site for the biggest job I’ve managed yet, and I got thoroughly humbled. There is an accountability piece of contracting work that is undeniably brutal- either you planned for the job correctly or you didn’t, and when you try to install it, it becomes suddenly obvious if you made the grade or not. It was humbling and demoralizing, and a very important experience in my development as a professional. It was also a solid lesson in learning to let go of my ego and screw things up. Not often do I fail to exceed expectations, but this was one of those days, and it was hard for me. From the beginning of this blog, the point has been to “let the baggage go”- and learning to let go of my failures (once I’ve learned from them) is part of the deal.
Despite a long day onsite and long commute, I headed back into the office tonight to wrap up ever more loose ends. It was raining when I walked home, just in time for me to hop on my bike and make it to the grocery store. I was still in my long underwear and didn’t notice the cold liquid running down my legs as I rode.
I was tired. I didn’t make the grade at work. I didn’t get to workout today, didn’t take care of some personal chores, and didn’t really get any personal time. But as I rode home in the rain, somehow things seemed alright. Maybe that means I’ve already let go of the weight of the day, and in that there is success.
ps. the title of the post is a fantastic Sigur Ros song and fitting for the topic. Enjoy the link.