First thing today at work, I got some feedback that I had dropped the ball on a few things, and we probably lost some money, and some respect, because of it.

After work, and my weekend facilitating NLC sessions, our board for the group met and reviewed some of the feedback we had received- as I had invited most of the speakers, and facilitated most of the sessions- I felt pretty invested in it, and some of the negative feedback we got hit me hard.

After that meeting, I got some feedback from a friend that I had really let her down in a big way.  I care about my friends a lot, so I took this more seriously than all of them.

Feedback is the most important thing in the world because it’s when we find out if what we thought (or guessed) and did actually resulted in the outcome we had hope for. In short- it’s how we actually learn.

Professionally it’s pretty easy- if we reduce utility bills, make people happier, and put a little money in the bank, we win, but it usually doesn’t keep me up at night. In my personal life it tends to hit harder, maybe because the lessons feel closer to home, and maybe because it takes a long time to really change who we are. I’ve still got plenty of work to do. Everyday, most of us strive to do our best- and every day, we guess, and we get things wrong.

I have to remind myself that my best is good enough for today. If you get it mostly right, most of the time- you’re probably doing well.  Half the battle is letting go when you’re in the wrong, the other half is hanging on to the lesson.

1 thought on “Feedback

  1. michaelleemoore

    Skander, I think your last sentence sums it up well, if by “letting go when you’re in the wrong” means letting go of the self-flogging we often perform when we’ve botched something. Both sides of that equation are necessary — moving beyond the guilt, while letting the reason we felt it teach us something. You’re hard on yourself. That can be constructive, but also debilitating. Keep recognizing the sometimes fuzzy line that separates the two.


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