“If you want to learn to love yourself, start by practicing on others.”

This is a very good thing.

This is a very good thing.

Last weekend I got to witness a different sort of adventure. Two close friends, embarking on the adventure of partnership. Their example seems particularly poignant in light of my own recent failures in romance. Ky and Amanda, you have my utmost respect and support for your adventure together. Your practice of love towards each other, and others, has earned at least that much. I hope this is the beginning of the greatest adventure of them all. For whatever may come, I’m here to say that your love for each other is enough- and that is an incredibly beautiful thing.

Thanks for the dance!

Thanks for the dance!

The wedding weekend was a good one. It felt good to play the cello as Amanda walked down the aisle. It felt good to dance with a bridesmaid and smile at the stunning sunset over the Bitterroot. It felt good to climb outside for the first time since foot surgery (thanks Brian!), and swing my kettlebell to the end of my grip.

Perfect sunset, before a perfect moon.

Perfect sunset, before a perfect moon.

Just a week ago, life was good. This weekend, I’m not so optimistic. Work has been intense, I’m feeling sick, and I’ve felt depressed since Monday. I don’t get it.  This body of mine just doesn’t want to cooperate with summer adventures. My foot is starting to feel good again, but my throat is swollen shut, and I’ve had a headache for 3 days. Questions around simplicity and consistency come up.  Why does my mood swing? Why does my optimism wane? I’m still not going on the adventures I’d like, and that makes me sad.  At the root of it all, my value system is broken because I believe that what I do determines my worth as a person. Whether or not I’m a good person, or this is good blog post depends on whether I had a sweet climbing adventure versus spending a perfectly good Saturday on my couch (or in my office). It’s not supposed to be this way, but changing that is up to me.

I’m pet sitting for some friends this weekend, and they have a beautiful habit of leaving notes for each other on their mirror. When I got home this morning, I took their queue.

See yourself for who you are, not who you aren't.

See yourself for who you are, not who you aren’t.

I am fit enough.
I am smart enough.
I am talented enough.
I am handsome enough.
This is enough.
I am enough.

Let’s set a better tone for this week.

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