“Slowly the answers roll in. The girl is gone, the bonus was small, the Alaska dates are bad, and always there are unexpected expenses… …My plans are not convenient, they are necessary. Slowly I become aware of a feeling I had when I woke up this morning- I am unstoppable.”
A Picture of My Life- 12.17.10
There is a lot of getting ready these days. About a year ago, one of my best friends was headed out on a similar journey, and I was startled when he asked me if I wanted to purchase any of his climbing gear to help fund his travels. Initially I was shocked and surprised- a climber selling his gear is a serious event, and in some ways, the sign of a bond lost. He explained to me that he was committing to a shift in his focus, and that letting go of some of his most treasured possessions was simply part of accepting the opportunity that his journey represented.
Getting ready. At this point it is unstoppable. I’m five days away from my last significant paycheck, and last day at the desk I’ve tended for most of four years. I’ve begun to work through the logistical puzzle that is dismantling my relatively normal middle class life into packages that fit into the back of my VW Jetta wagon. I’ve got much to learn about letting go of these possessions I’ve held onto for so long. The series of decisions I’m making, the journey I’m pursuing, isn’t about a dis-satisfied worker-bee breaking out of the hive, or a closeted mountain bum finally shedding his citified disguise. Rather, it is about taking an opportunity to answer some important questions in my life. To challenge the typical notions of how a person “should” spend their time. To guarantee, without other distractions, that there is in-fact, enough living in my life.
So I’m learning to let go of my possessions. I’m learning to think about my financial resources differently (to be used rather than hoarded, but used carefully indeed). I’ve had my exit interview, I’ve written my last rent check, and my eBay sellers rating is going up. I’m getting ready, and I’m finding that the act of doing so is part of the experience. After considering this plan for such a long time, the preparation alone is intensely exciting. I’m getting ready, and it feels good.