Category Archives: Montana Experience

Acting

Last year, a group of people raised a bunch of money for me to benefit from. I didn’t ask them to, or know that I would benefit from their work when they raised the money. They took action because they believed that what they were doing was worthwhile, and that one day I would want to thank them. They were right.

I’ve been attending weekend-long seminars called the New Leaders Council (NLC) since January. I’ve written about these seminars before (here, and here), and this past weekend was again spent inside rather than out, and once again, it was worth it. I came to Missoula with big talk about “community” and “local action,” yet my action was small. Talk << Action.

NLC has been about getting connected, and connecting is the first essential piece of acting in the community. I’ve met local leaders, built business and personal relationships, and gotten to know this community on a level that in some ways is much deeper than my involvement with “community” in Portland. Attending the seminars has made me more aware of social justice issues that haven’t been on my radar, and put me in touch with a compassionate, engaged, and intellectually stimulating people that I probably wouldn’t normally get to know via the adventure circles I usually travel in. I leave each conference feeling more alive, and more aware of what needs doing, and I’ve found that invaluable.

NLC is free if you are selected to participate, and that comes with the responsibility of raising money for next years conferences. It costs ~$500 per person to put on in Missoula. We’re having a fundraising event in Missoula this weekend and it should be a very good time- please stop by the Stensrud Building (314 N. 1st St.) between 6-8pm for live music and refreshments. If you can join me in making a donation so that someone next year has this opportunity, that would be rad (click here and select “Missoula Chapter”). If you can’t (and I understand that you can’t), I’ll ask you to consider what you might do to make yourself more alive and connected to your community.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” (Howard Thurman)

Rattler

Beyond the somber tone of my last post, I’ve also been getting out for plenty of climbing and other outdoor fun.  The past two weekends I’ve gotten a primo introduction to the rock climbing goods at Rattler Gulch, about 50 minutes east of town.  Very grateful for fun and motivated partners on both weekends, I’ll let the photos tell the rest:

Always pushing ahead- Steve gets chewed up by "Puppy Teeth", 12a.

Jamie gets on it with grit and grin.

The climbing is mostly solid limestone with funky little pockets and sharp edges- and reminds me a lot of many pitches at Smith Rock.

Yours truly sticking the crux on the 11b I fell off last weekend.

Jess steps up her game and gets down to business on a 10b.

Proof that if you go for it, it’s probably going to be good!  Get out and love the spring.

Don't forget to look back after you top out, the views are not to be missed.

Packing

I’m packing my things this morning.  Last weekend, my housemate and landlord informed me that she needed to live alone, and that I was welcome to take the time to find a place I would be happy living in.  I’m grateful for having had this place to land, and feel confident that I can find something that works just as well, if not better, for my needs.  I swear Craigslist has mystical powers in that regard.

Packing in a way feels good.  My heart opens to adventure, my life feels smaller and more compact again, and I have the opportunity to strip away the unnecessary.  I don’t know yet where I will land, my criteria includes cool people and good energy, which doesn’t seem hard to find in this town.

The south hills are full of really awful McMansions, but I can't argue with the view...

I got fired up yesterday, clear skies and a new freehub on my bike reminded me that I didn’t ride 1,000km across Colombia last year because I dislike spending time in the saddle.  Maybe I don’t really own skinny tires any more (I sold my old roadbike for cash to travel with), but that doesn’t mean I can’t get out and race the touring bike I have.  My legs were fresh and excited to spin.  Cycling is an adventure from the moment you leave your house until the moment you get back- and has all of my favorite elements: being outside, hard physical effort, and seeing the world on a human powered level.  I rode Pattee Canyon until I hit snow, then bombed down to find the next steepest climb over the South Hills, and then again despite a headwind- dug deep for a third climb on the next road west.

Roads around town are NOT yet all clear.

It felt good to get out and spin, but the frigid wind was a reminder that it is only very early spring here, and I’ve got lots of work to do to find the best places to ride.  And I really miss my titanium road bike.  We’ll see what the summer brings.

Adventures? Yes…

… I am still having them, but  my motivation to write about them has been low.  Sometimes we all need a break from blogging.  A summary of adventures, in rough chronological order over the last two weeks:

Country swing dancing at the local cowboy bar.  Gotta give them credit, the band (County Line) was ripping.

Cowboys just love to dance.

Plenty of hiking and trail running on a few of the local trails now open for the season, including my first trip up Mt. Jumbo.

Mt. Jumbo is finally open for hiking!

Lots of contracting work.  Crawlspaces, gas piping, big power tools, the works.  Feels good to start to figure some of it out.

It is strangely gratifying to put a 6" hole in the side of someone's house...

This is how you prevent a gas leak, before you turn on the gas...

A little rock climbing on a day of unlikely weather.  I was glad to get into Kootenai canyon and start identifying a few projects for the season.  Steve is a beast.

The rope hangs, after two whippers on the crux...

And today, a little backcountry skiing at Lolo Pass with a new partner.  Many thanks to Jake for hiking a lot, never complaining, and making some good looking turns.  Glad we could make the most of a “variable” day!

The weather couldn't make up its mind on Lolo Pass today...

Today was not a powder day, but might have been everything else.

Portland #4: In Limbo

The most recent adventures have pulled more on my heartstrings than my hamstrings.  About a month ago my boss invited me to join him for the PassiveHouse Northwest conference being held in Portland.  Aside from the topic matter (that has become increasingly more important to me of late), I wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to see friends and spend some time in the previous home city.  About a week ago, I realized that making the trip was also likely to involve some challenging emotions.  We’ll stick to the facts first.

PassivHaus is an aggressive German standard for designing and constructing buildings with ultra low energy use and ultra high air quality and comfort.  In the design community it has a reputation for attracting some of the most zealous and nerdy folks that the architecture and engineering community can offer.  I prefer to think that the standard simply represents the next logical step in how buildings really must be designed and built. In general, folks at the conference were well behaved, very amiable, and geeked out really hard (star of the show was the guy who built a PassivHaus in Fairbanks, Alaska).

Yes, yes, this is a bunch of people standing around gawking at a window mockup-- only at a PassivHaus conference.

Close up of what all the fuss is about. Really high performance windows from Germany.

A mildly color adjusted image of a double stud wall with no thermal bridging. Nerdy as charged.

Building materials test chamber- for wind driven rain up to 200mph...

In between conference duties, I squeezed in time with old friends, and wandered in old familiar places.  I stared down some heavy emotions about careers, opportunities, friends, love, and the direction I’d like my life to take.

I miss Portland.  I miss the deep and high quality friendships that I have there.  The high salary gave me ample freedom of choice, and the city itself met much of my criteria for where I want to be.  I found two musical partners there that continue to write and perform music that I love, and loved to be a part of.  I honed my skills there in a career that is important and meaningful, and yet somehow in my gut, my life isn’t there.

I love Montana, and have ever since my first trip as a kid.  The access to the outdoors is phenomenal.  I’ve found meaningful work to get back on my feet, and live a simpler life that is more locally oriented.   In many ways, life here is better balanced, and I’m looking forward to many awesome, local adventures.  I feel honored to work with the people that I do, and am excited to be developing new skills an knowledge in the building design field I’ve done well with in the past.

I’ve found a little more peace since returning to Missoula, but my heart was in limbo for most of last week.  No doubt, I’m sticking to my commitment to Montana, but it was an interesting trip to Portland.  Below is a small bit of wisdom I picked up on the way:

John Ruskin was a wise man.

“Any pain associated with leaving something behind is usually a good sign that it was worth what you paid for it in the first place.” (George Veech)

Live Your Life

I spent this weekend around a conference table in second meeting with the NLC.  It was certainly worthwhile, but the long days of discussion leave me mentally drained.  Saturday after the conference I didn’t have plans but eventually found myself high above the city walking over Waterworks Hill.  I had invited friends to join me but ended up walking alone. It didn’t bother me though, I enjoyed the quiet space to reflect.

I’ve spent more time doing things on my own lately- I think in the mood of moving to Missoula I was eager to make friends again and put myself in a hyper social situation.  Having been here a while now, and slowed down a bit, I’ve found myself thinking of what my life was like one year ago (at the beginning of this blog), and realizing that one of the goals in leaving Portland was not to “settle down”.  I miss the travel, the adventure of being on the road, and the many fun times with people, but the fact is that being in the same place has no impact on how independently I am able to embrace the adventure of life.  I’ve been thinking of my travels often recently, missing them yes, but also drawing strength from what they taught me.  I was fortunately to share experiences with many other wonderful people, but I choose the experiences and destinations based on my own intuition and principle.

It’s easy, with the rhythm of more familiar places, more regular routines, more regular people, to think that the rhythm can determine how I should spend my time.  I have no less responsibility to choose just as deliberately now.

Live your life.
Reject the notion that the rhythm will determine what you should do.
Refuse to be a victim of circumstance.
Make a deliberate choice for your actions that resonates with your own core values rather than to anyone else’s expectations.

Sometimes the adventure is deciding what to do when you find yourself in a familiar place.

“We are what we repeatedly do.” (MFT)  If you want to your life to reflect the journey you want, then treat every moment as the next step along the way.

Ancient Art

While I’m a little sad this post isn’t about climbing the uber famous Ancient Arts spire, I spent last Saturday learning the ancient art of blacksmithing under the expert eyes of Jeffery Funk.  Jeff saw it fit to auction off a blacksmithing seminar to support AERO (which seems to have a habit of bringing good things to my life), and despite not having a job at the time, I bit the bullet and raised the bid.

The man in his castle- Jeff's shop is completely awesome.

"You can't touch this work...." so your hammers are your hands.

The day started with Jeff saying “I can make a hammer faster than I can drive to Kalispell and buy one.” So as a demo, he made one, out of an old piece of truck axel.

The big power hammer moves a 500# head... and makes reforging a 3" thick steel bar look easy.

Jeff emphasizes "it's quick work, you have to do it while it's hot." -- with just over an hour of work.

Grey, but still too hot to touch comfortably.

Later in the morning we got to scheme about projects, and get a feel for swinging the hammer ourselves.  At first we made standard round tapers (out of square bar stock), and then formed them into hooks (game hooks, bike hooks, name it).

My first few swings.

Everybody's gettin down to business.

You figure out why anvils have their shape once you start bending the eyelets.

Most people were pretty excited to make hammers, but Jeff had said we could do other stuff, so I opted to try my hand at the fine traditions of climbing heritage.

The best recollection I had on the spot for some basic piton designs.

Yvon Chouinard got started in business hand forging pitons, and by the end of the day, I realized that probably also did wonders for his grip strength.

The first practice round, made out of junk steel bar stock.

While I was practicing, Bryan and Matt were having lots of fun with the sledgehammer.

After a few practice rounds we were running short on time, and I had a whole new respect for the precision that one can wield with a hammer and hot metal (which I had not yet developed).  Fortunately, Jeff was more than generous with his advice, and I started to get the hang of it.

Tie rod from a 1972 International truck. Perfect piton stock.

Jeff likes to make morst of his work out of found/salvaged materials.  When the world ends, guys like Jeff are going to be the ones that do alright.  You can make most anything in his shop, and make it out of most anything.  You might remember his bicycle powered apple cider press?

Getting down to business with yours truly on the medium power hammer.

In the last few minutes of the day I made the last few dents, took off the burrs, and left Big Fork with the first piton in my collection.  The work is gritty, hard, and real.  The results are as tangible as they come.  To some, it might have been an exhausting day in the shop, but to me, it was a perfect Saturday.  Many thanks to Jeff and AERO for the opportunity.

It needs a little more time under the grinder, but is pretty much good to go. Stayed tuned for the first placement.

Sit Tight

I did not really get to play outside at all this weekend, that was unfortunate, especially because there was 3-5 feet of gorgeous fresh snow in the mountains to ski.

Oh yeah, there is a car under there... (taken after letting it melt for a day)

As I’ve mentioned before, my left foot is slowing me down, but in many other ways as well, this is a time for me to sit tight. I’m still just getting to know the people I feel comfortable going into the backcountry with. I’m still getting back to having some cash in the bank to play with. The weather hasn’t been compelling. I was selected to connect with the Missoula political community through an interesting group of people (the official website makes it seem cheesier than it actually is– but we’ll see how things go). I’m learning a lot about my job, about what my next job might be, and about how a job is related to making a living (because they are not the same thing). I might not like it, but this is a time where sitting tight is just the right thing to do for the moment.

I’ve been working hard to help heal my foot, so I didn’t get to swing my tools this weekend. After last weekend, and as I always do after ice climbing, I set out my screws to dry. They sit next to my bed, and next to the heater. I didn’t get around to putting them away for a few days but I realized I like seeing them when I wake up. I like seeing them when I don’t want to work out but know I should, or when I just spent 10 hours running around dusty, dirty jobsites. They motivate me, they remind me about that other place, and other thing that I do. They bring the focus back when I can’t make it out, when I have to sit tight.

Stay motivated.

They are elegant, simple things. I used to think I didn’t have enough ice screws, that I needed a few more before I could really get on “worthy” climbs with the few that I own. I have 10- 3 long ones, 3 medium ones, and 4 short ones, and this season I’m starting to realize that might be just enough for what I need. Thanks for the reminder, just a few more weeks my friends.

Work in the Morning

Dubstep-- go. Focus-- go. Ideas-- go.

Over dinner last night, one of my new friends here in Missoula joked “Come on out to the bar with us tonight Skander, its not like you have work in the morning!”

While I appreciated that she was celebrating my flexibility (something which I hope to retain while I develop work for myself), she was fundamentally wrong.  I have a ton of work to do. No, I’m not getting paid for this work, and no, no one will actually care if I don’t work on the ideas I have in mind, but if I ever want people to take me seriously- I gotta get out of bed in the morning and get to work.  This phase of my work is about investment.  It’s about creating a portfolio of work in Montana that will be the foundation for all future business.

Some Bad Mother-Pluckers

My previous post was about violence against people.  I find it ironic that to account for my weekend activity, this post is about violence against turkeys.

It would be easy to describe this weekend with words like “intense,” “gross,” or “brutal,” but perhaps the best adjective is simply “real.”  The work was hard, humble, and rooted in the simple reality that if we want to eat turkey, this is what it looks like in the best possible light. My friend Hannah and I drove up to Conrad, Montana to help Courtney and Jacob (owners of Prairie Heritage Farm) slaughter their heirloom breed, organic, free-range turkeys just in time for Thanksgiving.  I had heard about the great work that Courtney and Jacob were doing at the AERO conference I attended at the end of October, and just happened to hear they were looking for volunteers to help with the slaughter. Jacob and Courtney are simply beautiful people full of integrity and passion, and I jumped at the chance to get to know them and learn more about their farm.  Knowing it was up her alley, I mentioned the event to Hannah on Thursday night and we drove east in a snowstorm on Friday afternoon.

Early indication of how much "fun" we would be having.

(There are a lot of photos below, some of them are pretty, but most of them are graphic.  If you can’t handle it, be a vegetarian)

I headed over to the farm with Jacob at 5:30am Saturday morning to get the scalder up to temperature and set up for the day.  We hauled water, bleached the gutting table, and fed the turkeys that would be slaughtered on Sunday.

Saturday morning, cold and beautiful on the far northern plains.

I had expected to feel apprehensive, but instead I felt excited to learn and get to work- I was going to participate in my own meat consumption for the first time.  We had 6 or 7 volunteers by 830am and that was enough to get started.  Jacob walked us through the whole process:

Honestly, they are pretty birds- and it's about to get ugly.

The shadow in the window says it all.

In the killing room, they watch you work.

We aimed to kill about 50 birds each day.  The birds for that day were kept inside so we could chase and snatch them in a smaller area (it makes a huge difference), and the snatching was often one of the more hazardous parts.  Turkeys are strong and they are fighting for their lives- they kick, scratch, peck, and flap like they mean to live.  It’s a humbling thing to feel the last few breaths their of life in your hands.

Sam with the snatch. I'm grabbing for the feet. Watch out for flapping wings.

Sam wasn't as bothered as he looks here, but sometimes they spurt when you cut them, and blood on your face does feel a little "intense."

Yours truly with blood on his hands.

Somehow I did well with the catching and killing, and spent more time here than any other station. They kick sporadically for a long time after you slit their throats, and you have to hold the birds tightly so they bleed out properly and don’t kick themselves out of the killing cone.

Holding steady for the last few kicks.

Yeah, we were all actually smiling most of the time.  You don’t think about the act of killing much.  The urgency of the work, the desire to kill the birds as quickly and humanely as possible, and quality of people supporting their belief in local, sustainable, free-range, organic poultry is way more powerful than pity.  This is part of the food system solution.  This is what it is supposed to look like.  In non-organic (“chemical”) farms, the scene is not nearly so rosy.  We would have been wearing respirators and processing thousands of birds on a mechanical assembly line.

Some of the birds were rather large, especially in comparison to 5'2" Hannah.

After bleeding out, we weighed the birds (their “live” weight), then scalded them in preparation for plucking. Surprisingly, I found the plucking to be the hardest physical work.  It was tedious, and the plucking station was awkward.  When available, we found that three people plucking one bird was faster than using the machine.  I plucked for just an hour or two on Saturday afternoon, but was at the plucking station for most of 4 hours on Sunday, and got worked.  We also had 9 geese, which were significantly harder to pluck than turkeys- we would often need to scald the geese twice to be able to pluck them efficiently.  Scalding makes the plucking much easier, unfortunately I didn’t get a good photo of the scalding operation.

Our hosts, and local farming heros, Jacob and Courtney get it done cleaning off a bird.

Mandy and Nate were plucking machines- truly some bad mother pluckers.

Once plucked, the birds passed over to the butchering and evisceration table.  This was the only part of the operation I didn’t feel like I learned to do efficiently by the end of the weekend.  Feet, heads, crops (the first digestive chamber), intestines, and other organs were removed and discarded. Necks, hearts, and livers were removed and set aside (for packaging later).  Much care was required to not pop the crops or intestines to prevent feces or partially digested feed from contaminating the bird- in 109 birds, we only lost one.

Opening the neck to remove the crop.

Next up, removal of the head.

I had trouble with the eviscerating.  The texture was disgusting, and picking through body membranes and organs was admittedly gross.  I forced myself to work this station long enough to feel competent, but being efficient at this slimy, frustrating task is truly a skill.  I made through about 5 birds on Saturday afternoon and ~9 birds on Sunday morning.  By the time I called it quits I felt competent, but definitely tapped out of this work earlier than anywhere else.  Huge props to Jacob, “Evil Nate,” and Jill for doing most of the work.

Opening the body cavity.

Intestines are removed by hand to ensure complete and careful removal.

No, it really is NOT very pleasant at all.

Once fully eviscerated, the birds were cooled in an ice bath for about 4 hours, then checked for core temperature and bagged. Bagging was a pretty clean job, but pulling the turkeys out of the ice baths in breezy 0F weather on Saturday night was brutal.  Caroline may have brought some smile and class to our operation, but also brought amazingly tough hands- she pulled birds out of the ice until well after dark.

Clean and ready to bag- it felt good to finish the process.

No, the process isn’t pretty.  Yes, animal rights folks and my vegan friends will probably give me some hell about this post. But having met the farmers and done the work, I know I’m eager to sit down at the table on Thursday and enjoy the fruits of my labor.  I’ll be sharing one of these amazing birds with the friends that first invited me to Missoula, and most of the food we will eat won’t have traveled much farther than the bird did (203 miles).  I’m grateful for the opportunity to do this work, and I’m proud to support Jacob and Courtney as they breathe new life into the beautiful rural landscape that has been dominated by industrial agriculture.  This was one of the most “real” experiences I’ve had, and I’m glad I didn’t back down from the opportunity.

Tired and dirty. More experienced and bloody.