Category Archives: Philosophy

Castleton Tower: Kor-Ingalls, III 5.9 Off-width

There are those things that inspire us, but I believe that inspiration is of little value without action.  As we rolled into Moab, I realized that we had an opportunity to act on something that has inspired me for a long time.  Castleton Tower is a well known sandstone tower about 25 miles east of Moab, Utah.  You’ve probably seen pictures of it without even knowing.  I’ve often confused it with the pinnacles of Monument Valley, AZ, but the towers of Castle valley are more closely grouped, and the area is ringed by denser, and more striking sandstone walls.  The scene is difficult to describe, but the new camera helps.

My climbing of late has been fraught with more insecurity than I’d like to admit to.  I know that much of it has to do with the considerable amount of pain still present in the surgery site on my left foot, and now new and increasing pains from the bunion on my right foot that the doctor was surprised hadn’t been giving me trouble.  Perhaps I’m scared that my resolve to climb is weak, that I’m doing permanent damage to my feet, or that these plans, and this trip that I’ve been so excited about, might have to change form significantly as a result.  Jordan and I had planned to goto Indian Creek, the world famous crack climbing area, but on our way to Moab, we discussed the amount of crack climbing required, and the considerable pain associated with foot jamming (a common technique extremely useful and secure in crack climbing).  It just didn’t make sense to drive another 2 hours to a place that I may not be able to climb in, so we started looking closer to Moab.

I didn’t know that Castleton Tower was so close to Moab, but I also did surprisingly little research in what I wanted to climb before I left Portland.  Glancing through the guidebook I saw the route, and got excited.  I had never done a Layton Kor route, but the legendary Colorado climber put up hundreds of famous first ascents during the 1960‘s, and the routes are known for being “full value”- meaning a solid amount of physical and mental challenge.  When the friendly guys at Pagan Mountaineering mentioned free camping at the base, it was the obvious choice.  The forecast looked good and we boogied out to the tower.

I normally would have considered the route well within my abilities, but have a healthy respect for old school ratings and knew I’d be doing all the leading. Jordan doesn’t lead on traditional gear, doesn’t have a lot of self rescue skills, and it’s hard to bail off if you only take one rope. The risks started to weigh on me, but we met another group around the campfire on Thursday night, and realized with the popularity of the route we would be in good company even on a Friday.  The next morning we left around 6:30, 15 minutes or so after Barry and Dave, and the excitement started to rise as we hiked up to the tower.

The first pitch is a tight chimney, and even though the clouds had cleared out it was still quite cold inside.  The tower is coated in calcite, a slippery white mineral, giving the climbing a slick, risky feeling despite a mellow grade.  Jordan elected to bring his nice camera up the route, but quickly realized that hanging the pack below him was both necessary and frustrating.

When I got to the second pitch, both Barry and Dave were there, we had not expected to catch them- until I noticed that most of Dave’s right pinky finger was missing.  He had taken a 15′ whipper off the beginning of the second pitch and tore his finger open on a crystal.  It’s an odd feeling to see someone bleeding and bailing off the route while telling you to go climb it.  The thing was only supposed to be 5.8 (moderate climbing for those that don’t know), so I knew it was time to get up and on it.  The first pitch was 140′, and with Dave and Barry rapping off, our chance to bail went with them.  Needless to say, I took the second pitch very seriously.

Psyched to be on route.

After finishing the second pitch, my feet were screaming.  Painful to the touch, I had my shoes off as soon as I put Jordan on belay.  There was another team coming up behind us, and I debated asking them to trail our rope, or let us bail.  The thoughts sickened me, I didn’t want to bail, I did want to lead the climb in good style to the top of the tower, and my feet were tanked.  The crux 5.9 offwidth above me was an ugly hole laughing down at me.  Jordan and I talked through the options.  I had a vicodin in my back pocket and suspected it would take the edge off the pain well enough to keep me moving upwards.  I thought about all the training I’ve done this year, all the times I’ve heard my body ask me to stop, and that I answered ‘no’.  I refused to give up.  I took the pill, took the rack and led off the ledge.

It was a battle.  The #5 cam I had borrowed was hilariously inadequate, but I was grateful for two retro-bolts to protect moves that I could only do via lie-backing.  I got stuck.  I had to re-rack my gear.  I had to downclimb and re-climb part of the pitch- but I did not take on the rope and I did not give up.  Full value seems appropriate.

Jordan fights the off-width battle.

The last pitch was short and easy.  The summit was gorgeous, and I felt more satisfied than I have been in a long time.  This might be the coolest thing I have ever climbed.  Many thanks to Jordan for being a great partner, climbing the route quickly and clean, and for taking some great photos (and helping me edit the ones you are looking at).

Summit. Booyah.

We made fast friends on top and rapped off in short order down the chilly north face.  Mac and Cheese rarely tastes as good as it did last night.

Headed down.

“When you aren’t sure where to go next, further is usually the right answer.”

Exploring Eastern Oregon

After discovering that skiing simply isn’t going to work at this point in my recovery period, I was struck Monday with an obvious question I haven’t faced in quite some time- I was at Starbucks in downtown Bend at noon, and had nothing to do.  Holy shit.  After a moment of shear panic, the smile crept across my face, and I sorted through some options.  I went back to Smith and bouldered until I figured it out.  I needed to clean out my car and re-organize, I needed some solo time to clear my head, and my hands weren’t going to survive another consecutive day of climbing.  Rolling out of Smith, the bivy site was full fo screaming kids (on a Monday night, WTF?), and was no place to re-organize my car.  I’ve always told myself I wanted to see the Painted Hills unit of John Day National Monument so I rolled east towards Prineville.  It rained.  It snowed. I started to begrudge my decision.  I didn’t want to camp in the snow.  I didn’t intend to drive all the way to the Painted Hills on Monday night, but didn’t find any obvious camping before then.  Found a horsecamp on the approach road to the park and crashed hard.

Stuff doesn't fit so pretty after a few days on the road.

So often I’ve headed to Smith to climb, and never loked any further east.  Why, when there was so much climbing to be done on the familiar cliffs?  Why not, when I had no clue how beautiful the road would get just by taking a day to head out past Prineville?  I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves (I decided that posting the photos and entry soon enough to be relevant was more important than getting the photos in the right order):

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I had a funny argument with myself on this little side trip- should I be burning more gas, when I’m not going climbing?  Should I be spending more money when what I’m doing isn’t directly related to my plans at large?  Posting these questions here, the answer seems laughably obvious.  This trip is about being spontaneous.  It is about seeing the places that I’ve never taken time to see.  It is about allowing myself to wander, to find what is there for the finding, but that we never allow ourselves to see.  It is about pushing my boundaries, and challenge the notion of what I believe the extents of my universe should be.  I wanted to highlight a few photos that illustrate the sentiment:

I love open country.

When you aren't sure where to go next, further is usually the right answer.

It’s actually been difficult to let myself just go… yes that’s it, just let myself go, where-ever it is that the road seems to take me.  But I think I’m starting to figure that out, and it sure feels fun.

” Follow your heart, you’ll never go wrong.”  – Dustin.

Shakedown Cruise

This portion of my trip almost doesn’t really feel like the real trip.  When the Navy builds a new ship, they give it a “shakedown cruise” before they order it into the fight to make sure that everything works the way it’s supposed to.  Before I launch farther afield, I’m using this week to get acquainted with some of my future challenges.  Obviously, I’m most curious about how my recently surgered foot will handle the rigors of camping, climbing, hiking, running, and other random adventures.  I’m also learning about organizing my car, finding free/safe camping, cooking with and fixing two busted stoves, and realizing which of the volumes of stuff I’m traveling with actually makes sense to carry.

That said, my shakedown crew has been nothing short of spectacular.  Dustin and I got out of Portland around 11am on Saturday morning, and started enjoying beautiful weather as soon as we dropped off of Barlow Pass.  We stopped to collect firewood before the reservation at Warm Springs and I realized that my sense of time, and priority had already started to shift.  It was okay not to get to Smith as fast as possible, it was great to get to stop and see historical markers I’ve never stopped for.  The weekend warrior life rewards focus, but is often devoid of chance.  I finally feel like I have time to breathe.

It was sunny, but still quite cold by the time we got to Smith, and with both me and Dustin being out regular climbing shape we only managed a few easy pitches.  I remain indebted to Dustin for leading an unfortunately hard warmup 5.10a, because despite the cold, all the other easy lines on the front-side were taken.  After climbing, we wandered back to Skull Hollow, set up camp, and got dinner going.  In the dark we missed an inconvenient sign just in front of the car.  Dustin had an effective solution, and we enjoyed our dinner and campfire.  More than almost anything else, Dustin loves to think, and our conversations always leave me feeling richer.  Thanks dude.

Sign? What sign?

Sunday we got on the rock earlier and grabbed an easier line to warmup on while waiting for my good friend Kelly to join us.  We’ve been working out together for over a year, but only gotten to share a rope a few times. Not surprisingly it was equally enjoyable to get to spend another day climbing with her as trying to keep up with her in the morning workouts.  We worked a number of climbs in the ShipWreck gully area, and much to my surprise, and some concern, I was able to lead More Sandy Than Kevin (5.11a).  This surprised me not only due to the lack of protest from my foot, but also the fact that I haven’t climbed regularly in two months, and had only run two laps on the route during my last day at Smith [insert link].    I also appreciated the encouragement from my friend Pat, who had come down to enjoy the day, as he had been there for my previous attempts.  I’m looking forward to climbing with Pat again this coming weekend.

Back in the thick of it, on More Sandy Than Kevin (5.11a). Photo: Danica Yates

Dustin getting the goods.

Spent, but with plenty of daylight, the Kelly and Dustin were clamoring to hike, so we cleaned up our gear and headed past the Marsupials to check out the Lower Gorge.

A guy couldn't ask for better companions.

Smith has so many fantastic areas in such a small area…

In the theme of taking the time for new things, we took a right turn uphill just after leaving the Gorge, into yet another part of Smith that I had not explored.  In addition to his ample intellectual abilities, Dustin also has a youthful curiosity about him that often inspires unexpected adventures.  Above the Lower Gorge area, we found an old irrigation canal, with a tunnel leading under the Burma Road and hills just east of Smith.  Not surprisingly, Kelly was more than game to see where this new line went, so we headed into the dark.  Still in the tunnel ½ mile later, we found a slowly growing pool of water at the bottom.  Dustin said “I’m instigating that we go further, it’s only ankle deep…”

Down the rabbit hole...

Another ½ mile later, still in the tunnel, and within sight of the exit, we were wading through hip deep water, freezing, and giggling like school girls.  Once out of the tunnel and on dry ground, we stopped regretting having carried long underwear around in our bags all day and started feeling the screaming barfies in our feet.  We all changed into what dry options we had, and started looking for a new line back to the park.  We ended up on top of the Marsupials ridge, then along the backside of Smith for a stellar sunset, then over Asterisk Pass, and back at the cars only 10 minutes after our target time of 6pm.  I couldn’t have planned a better adventure, or better partners to share it with.

Still giggling, and stoked to have long underwear post swim.

“Take wrong turns.  Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors.  And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they are doing.  Do things without always knowing how they will turn out.” (www.xkcd.com)

Chicken

There was a girl at the show I was at last night.
I should have asked her to dance.
I didn’t under the excuse of “well… I’m leaving Portland next Saturday.”

The truth is, I was chicken.
I guess we all chicken out sometimes.
Posted here to remind myself not to miss the opportunity again.

Chinaman, 5.11b, at Frenches Dome, OR - where I finally came to terms with lead falling on bolts.

Do Something

This is one of those posts that I don’t know how to write, but feel compelled to publish anyways.

I’d like to give a shout out to a friend and mentor. My friend John coaches the early Tuesday and Thursday workouts (I mentioned these here)that I attend at Crossfit Fort Vancouver– he is also an incredibly hardworking athlete, professional, father, and husband. In the few years that I have known him, his climbing and training ethic has helped shape my own. Last weekend, John and his partner were the only two people to fly into the Alaska Range during the 2010-2011 winter season to nab the second ever winter ascent of Mt. Huntington (12,240′). Read his trip report with photos on cc.com– congratulations my friend. “The work is the reward“, and the rewards are big.

“You become who you hang around.” (Mark Twight)
His example reminds me to pay special attention to the people in my life that drive me to be better. I am sincerely grateful for the many people I have the privilege to hang around. Ask yourself the hard questions, chase the illusive answers, follow the footsteps when you are lost, and break trail when you are inspired. Most importantly- get up in the morning and do something that you care about. Thanks for the push John.

What are you going to do when the day dawns?

Plans

Tomorrow is my last day of work at Glumac.  After 3.5 years of cycling through the same basic sequence, tonight I’m uniquely aware that the cycle is about to break.  In some ways, this would seem like the ultimate freedom, but quitting my job is not about a vacation.  It isn’t really about a lack of activity, taking it easy, or goofing off.  While I do look forward to a bit of all of those things, this time is much more about action.  It is much more about learning, exploring, and working very very hard than about not doing anything at all.  So, how have I envisioned this time?

In the short term: Thursday morning I be driving south with two good friends to play music in Arcata, California on Thursday night, and Berkeley on Friday night.  If you are in the Bay, come check us out at The Starry Plough at 10:30pm.  Saturday is a chance to see my brother and his wife and enjoy the Bay area, which is always a good time.  We’re headed back to Portland on Sunday.   I’m looking forward to spending a few weeks helping out at The Commons while my foot heals, I finish selling my unnecessary stuff on Craigslist, and spending some quality time with friends here in Portland.

Sometime in the first week of April I’m headed south with my good friend Jordan.  He takes pictures, really good ones, so we’re going to take some really good ones in really cool places, hopefully of me doing interesting things.  Depending on weather, conditions, snowpack, and the state of my foot, destinations may include: Smith, Red Rocks, Zion, the Moab area, and Salt Lake City.  Probably towards the end of April, Jordan will need to head back to PDX, and I’ll be free to roam.  I’m hoping to spend all of May climbing and skiing the Eastern Sierras between Bishop and Tahoe, culminating with two weeks in early June in Yosemite Valley.  During this time I’m also looking forward to feeling out new places to potential settle down again, and reflecting on my recent career as well as what might be next.  That’s the rough plan, but we’ll see what actually happens.

Something says I can't leave Oregon without kicking off the trip at Smith.

June 13th I’m headed north again for a rare opportunity to complete the Muldrow Glacier route on Denali.  True this is not a glamorous technical route, but it might be one of the most classic wilderness mountaineering routes on the planet.  Our team of 6 will spend approximately 30 days climbing the Muldrow and descending the West Buttress.  Based on my last two summer trips to the Alaska range, I have little doubt this will be both intensely challenging and intensely beautiful.

The mighty Kahiltna on our way in to Denali Basecamp in 2009.

Despite a variety of extended trips, there is an awful lot of Alaska to see, and I’m planning to spend a few additional weeks travelling and exploring before heading south again.

Mt. Foraker, as seen from 14,000 camp on Denali, from my trip in 2009

My passion for climbing sparked in the Wind River Range in Wyoming, but I haven’t been back since my first trip there in 2002.  I hope to spend several weeks there in August, as well as spending time with friends in Lander, WY.  I’ll be back in Portland for sure by August 20 to celebrate two back to back weekends of weddings.  Doubtless, it’s a full summer.  However, September I’m not so certain about…

I’d like to put my climbing toys away for a while.  Seeing family in Australia and traveling in Asia are at the top of the list, but the plans are more vague.  Based on what I expect to spend climbing this summer, I think I’ve saved enough to continue traveling abroad for about 6 months.  I’d happily consider working for a non-profit or volunteering for a while as well.  In a year when I can do anything I want, why not do whatever feels right?

Live in the moment. Let the baggage go. Get the feeling to stick.

“Without a purpose, training is just exercise. Use life for something.” -Mark Twight

What We Need

I sat down with a friend from the gym that I train at and at one point asked her “why do you show up and workout really hard?”

She replied “I found that it’s just what I need to do.  It sucks, but we need it.” I couldn’t agree with her more.

I’ve been thinking about my training a lot lately.  Am I really stronger than at other points in my life?  Is the training doing what I want for me?  Why do I get up really early in the morning and push myself really really hard, often at unpleasant tasks on a regular basis?  I have a sneaking suspicion that my family and some friends think I may be nuts.  I look at the training I do in the gym and believe in its quality, and am excited about how it makes me feel.  I’m seeing that my gym training correlates well to my outdoor activities, and I enjoy them more because of it.  Beyond being physically stronger, the training I have been doing has made me mentally stronger, and in some sense, spiritually stronger.  I haven’t been climbing a lot lately, but when I’ve climbed, I’m climbing stronger than ever, and I like it.    I’m pushing harder and doing more, but it doesn’t feel that much harder.  I look and feel great, and feel like I am investing in my future long term health.  All things that validate my training.

But with all that said, there’s an underlying question.  My friend hit it on the head- she and I, and the people we train with, we need this- why?  The work we do in the gym is unpleasant- many people would look at the work done and wouldn’t be interested in participating.  None of us are exceptionally strong, none of us are sponsored athletes, and frankly, few if any of us would really measure up on the grand scale of true elite fitness.  And yet, most always, we all get out of bed well before the workday starts to show up to a cold box to give the best we have to the tasks at hand.  I feel lucky to train with a group of people that are willing to push really hard.  Crossfit seems to drive this in a large group of people, but I would venture to guess that our sessions are even on the far end of the normal spectrum of crossfit athletes.  The exercises are not necessarily the difference- the participants and the coaching are the unusual part.  Coaches that are willing to put a brutal workout on the board, and a group of people that are willing to pursue the perscription with exceptional tenacity.  We push each other, we inspire each other, and we suffer with each other.  For those of us who truly feel we ‘need’ this, the need is a part of who we are, and the need itself may just be reason enough.

To the 5:30am crew at Crossfit Fort Vancouver- thank you, I am really going to miss our sessions together.  I will remember them as I train, climb, and travel this year.

Work done at 5:30am this morning. My times are in the column on the right.

“Right now, just go be you- do whatever it is that you need to do to just be you.”  (Soren Spies)

Stick the Feeling

“Let go of the baggage, and get that feeling to stick.”

This was one of the earliest, and most important lessons I’ve learned from moving over vertical rock and ice.  Just below the crux (hardest) moves of any climb, this is the single greatest challenge separating the climber from completing the ascent.  Fear, doubt, worry and other negative elements- are all forms of baggage, and will only weigh you down, preventing your upward progress.  Somewhat unsurprisingly, the act of letting go is still a regular struggle.

I’m starting this blog as I release my traditional career, one full of value and accomplishment, in favor of an opportunity to pursue an alternate path.  I’m voluntarily quitting a stable income in a career with real potential- it is perhaps (this is up for debate) the most important thing I’ve ever tried to let go.  To be certain, I do not view my career as a negative inhibitor, but rather as something that has been preventing me from fully exploring my complete range of interests.  In many ways, abandoning this highly successful and traditional path requires similar courage to moving upwards on a difficult climb.  Hopefully, exploring other passions in my life elevates me upwards on many levels, and I fully expect I will be required to repeat this mantra often in the coming months.

My hope is that this blog will serve as the primary vehicle to record my progress- in climbing, in training, in understanding the world and in understanding myself.  Hopefully, my journey can also help you understand yours.

Welcome.