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The Saga of a Broken Bike

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“It’s great to see you, but I thought you weren’t in town these days Skander?”

It’s a common question as I’ve been in Portland for quite a bit longer than I expected when I originally sketched out the idea of being unemployed. For lack of any better adventures to tell about, and because I think I know how the story ends, I’ll add the “Saga of a Broken Bike” to the entries of this blog.

I flew back to Portland from Alaska on Monday August 1st, and immediately started searching for a touring bicycle. I had just sold both my extracycle and my road bike, so I had some cash to spend and wanted to find “the right bike” for what I planned to be a grand tour. That same day I rode a used Trek 520 and a brand new Surly Long Haul Trucker that were both in Portland. On Tuesday I drove to Seattle and rode a used TiCycles cyclocross bike, and drove to Anacortes to ride a used Fuji Touring bike. I bought the Fuji because it was a stellar deal and came with a set of good panniers, and a bunch of other extras. I took the Fuji on a quick tour, and came home Wednesday. The Trek still wasn’t out of my head, so I rode it again, and it still felt the best of the four bikes. I bought it, and put the Fuji on Craigslist.

The Fuji in Roche Harbor, while I was figuring out this bike was really too small for me.

After a few weeks of sweating, the Fuji finally sold, and I got the Trek dialed in and ready for a tour. Life was good. On August 28th, I left the Trek at a shop to get a new bottom bracket- a significant, but not worrisome repair. The shop called me back on September 1st to say that in the process of replacing the bottom bracket, they had found a crack in the frame. I got the frame shuttled up to one of the few people in Portland willing to try and weld it back together for me, but the prognosis was ugly. I was in Alabama at the time, and suddenly realized I wasn’t taking this bike to South America as soon as I got back. The opportunity to drive back from the east coast came up, so I took it because I knew I’d have some time on my hands.

Yup, cracked properly.

While on the drive, I contacted the original owner of the Trek, who immediately went to bat for me, and has continued to be most helpful in resolving the situation. He took the frame back to the Bike Gallery, and Trek agreed to replace the frame under warranty (to him, not me). Good news as I was driving across Wyoming, unfortunately with no information on how long the replacement would take, I got in touch with a contact in Bogota, and confirmed that I could buy a new bike there. I liked the idea of getting on my tour upon returning to Portland, and the thought that I could sell the newly warranteed frame on eBay for approximately the cost of a new bike in Colombia. While the idea of purchasing a bike in a foreign country with almost no spanish skills seemed daunting, it was decidedly better than waiting indefinitely in Portland.

Driving past the impeccable off-width climbing in Vedauwoo, WY wondering if I would ever actually get to bike tour.

I got back to Portland last Friday, September 9 and arrived to the question “they don’t make the same frame for that bike any more, you’ve got to go sit on the new frames and pick a size.” So my warranty had not started and one more step in the process. Bummer, but nothing else to do. Saturday I picked the new frame size, and hoped that Trek would get their butts moving. Monday, nothing- I packed gear, and planned to drive to San Jose on Wednesday (today), thinking I would have a friend pick up the new frame and store it, so I could get on with my life. Tuesday, just as I found someone on Craigslist that needed a ride to San Jose, I get word that new Trek frames won’t be available until November, but that Bike Gallery would strip the frame that I had sat on and rebuild the bike with my old components. Suddenly, for the first time in 3 weeks, it looked like I might have a functional bike on a predictable timetable. I realized it was awfully irresponsible to pawn of bike bitch-work on my friends, and after this much trouble, there was no way this Trek isn’t going to South America with me. So today I’m waiting, studying Spanish, toying with an alcohol stove, and hoping that I might have a bike on Friday and can drive to California on Saturday…

Killing time in Portland at the Widmer Oktoberfest really isn't so bad...

Good thing I didn’t buy a plane ticket yet. Thanks for following, and watch this space for more news!

Don’t Quit.

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Don’t Quit.

For 2 hours and 15 minutes of brutal exercise this morning, this was my only mantra.  It was the 9/11 memorial workout at CrossFit Fort Vancouver, and our coach was a military special forces trainer.  He had designed the workout to both simulate the various experiences of emergency and military responders, and encourage us to consider the hardship that was created that day.  I didn’t care much for his rhetoric, but it did inspire me to consider some important questions about how I view the state of the world.  It was the second day in a row that I got up and participated in a workout that brought me to my knees.  Yesterday was about facing my own demons, today was remembering 9/11, the work done since, and the challenges we still face.

Allan, at 190lbs, was my "patient"- the guy I carried back and forth across the gym like a sack of potatoes.

When I first heard about the September 11th terrorist attacks, I was sitting in Dr. VonDracek’s high school physics class.  It is not without importance that he was the first person of some authority to comment on the situation.  “This is likely the work of Osama bin Laden…” but he went on to describe the power our generation would wield- the power of peace, of tolerance, and of education.  Little did we know, he offered a stark contrast to the fiery rhetoric we would be inundated with for the next 10 years. My views still echo his, and suddenly I’m frustrated my plans don’t wield that power, yet.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, unmotivated, scared, and frustrated the past few days.  I feel physically destroyed after driving across the country (and the above-mentioned workouts).  I have less money than I expected to have at this point.  I’m doubting whether I have the energy to take on biking across a continent.  I’m sick of dealing with the mess that is my bike situation.  I’m wondering if some of my other goals aren’t starting to impress me more now that I’ve been on the road for 5 months.  There is a weight that I feel- considering how 9/11 has shaped our world, I have a hard time traveling rather than contributing substantial solutions to the socio-economic issues that have brought us to the current state of being.  My generation faces tremendous challenges- equitable distribution of resources, social equality, and environmental degradation just to name a few.  It makes me sick that in some ways, that Mr. Bin Laden succeeded, and to think that I have more useful ideas about how to create a more peaceful and just world.  Am I really walking my talk to go travel when there is important work to do?  I feel privileged to know so many people that ask me to consider these questions.

A solid teammate is an amazing thing to have when facing down your demons, or the world.

Still, from a previous post on this blog- “when you aren’t sure where to go next, further is usually the right answer.”  And don’t quit.

Lead an Examined Life

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“Running breaks my body, but it sure fixes my soul.” (Garrett Moon)
This post started as a longer, less focused expression of a wide variety of emotions I’ve held closely for the last 2,000 miles of driving. After a long run tonight, I’ve found a more meaningful and concise set of words.

I met an important woman on my flight from Chicago to Dallas on Wednesday morning.
I arrived in West Virginia late Saturday night and sent an important email.
Sunday I drove 450 miles northeast to meet her in Niagara Falls, NY.
We laughed over dinner in a dive bar, split a bottle of wine, and walked along the river.
She had to work on Monday, and I still had 2,700 miles to drive to Portland.
The odds are reasonable that I will not see her again.
It was worth it.

She is intelligent, beautiful, humble, and willing to look at herself and her life carefully in the mirror. She is nothing short of incredible to me, and I’m looking forward to developing our friendship. True to her form, getting to know her meant that she forced me to look at my life in the mirror very carefully. Thank you lady.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to allow a more transparent examination of my life. The directive “lead an examined life” actually comes from my time working for patagonia (the clothing company), it’s value has held in the years since I worked there. When I’m forced to examine my life more closely, I know I’ve done something correctly. I enjoy long distance driving for the mental space it affords me, this trip has been no different.

You should be looking at the ridgeline behind the highway, mountaintop removal- the real deal in West Virginia.

Cleveland.

How far would you go for the right person? How far would you go for the right job? What constitutes being in “the right place” (or “the right person” or “right job”)? On what do we base our priorities?

Central Illinois.

Mississippi River.

When our personal and functional dreams seem to be at odds, how do we know when we we’ve struck the right balance? When do we compromise? When do we refuse compromise?

I’ve been fortunate to have spent the past 6 months following my heart, and learning about myself, but in many ways these bigger questions remain unanswered. I haven’t forced myself to be accountable for answering them. Certainly I have experienced personal growth, but maybe this experience renews the cycle- in some ways I feel like I’m starting from square one. These questions will be waiting for me when I get back from South America, and I will be required to answer them in order to move on with my life. The commitment I have to my values makes it difficult to ignore, or answer these questions falsely.

Renewing the cycle in Nebraska, the very spot I camped four years ago while moving to Oregon.

The northern plains of Colorado.

“Allow. That’s most of what we have to do, is allow it. We might not understand now or ever, but we will feel our lives.” (Andrew Given)

Re-Dedicate

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I’m headed back to Portland early tomorrow morning- I don’t like thinking about the fact this is my last day in Alaska for quite some time.  As I mentioned upon arrival here I feel like Alaska inspires the best version of myself, and my summer has been full of those best experiences.  I’ve been thinking of this as the second stage of my trip since quitting my job, and it’s been exceptionally fruitful.  More than anything else, this time and this place has allowed me renew and refine my dedication to a few major life goals.  Over the years I’ve found that it’s easy to make lots of goals, and hard to follow through on them.  Sometimes I’m even reluctant to call them goals, perhaps the term principles would be more appropriate, and that a principle may encompass many elements.

  • Live more simply (encompasses the pursuit of more human experiences, human powered adventures, a greater sense of community, and more careful focus of my intentions).
  • Enjoy life to the fullest (encompasses being fit, being active, doing new things, embracing new challenges)

The next stage of my travels looks the least structured of my so far, and I’m excited to use that time to fully embrace these principles.  There is a pain in my chest tonight, as I’ve started to feel a sense of belonging here.  Going to Portland still feels like going back to the familiar, but with a new sense of the unknown because I’m not exactly sure why I’m going there, except for the fact that it is where my stuff is.  Leaving here feels like I’m leaving something behind that doesn’t fit in my backpack.  

Reflection is strong in the mountains.

Evenings are a great time to climb.

Feeling the deep wilderness on the Harper Glacier.

Exposure is a clarifying force- on the diving board at 17,200'.

Tent-bound

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(from June 2, 2011)

The crappy weather and glacial conditions leave plenty of time for reflection and excellent time with newfound friends.  We’re chilling like villains in the heart of the lower Kahiltna.  I promised myself a long time ago that I would rally against the concept of being jaded, and found myself thinking about ego, humility and opportunity.  A few reminders for myself:

  • My confidence is more effective that the doubt of those who challenge me.
  • My joy is more powerful that the anger of those who hate.
  • My creativity is more attractive than the certainty of the pessimists that taunt me.
  • My humility is more energizing than the ego of those that goad me.
  • My flexibility is stronger that the rigid beliefs of those that shirk the required hard work.

All of us are smarter than one of us.  All of us together are greater than one of us alone.

The last good look at Mt. Hunter for many days.

“The Size Thing” chapter of “The Ecology of Commerce” by Paul Hawken hit me really hard, and reminds me that “Small is Beautiful” is another important book to include on the reading list.  It concludes with a powerful statement:

“An ethic is not an ethic, and a value not a value, with out some sacrifice for it, something given up, something not taken, something not gained.  We do it (ethic, value) for a greater good, for something worth more than just money and power and position.” – Jerry Kohlberg

At the same time, we’ve had a lot of fun in the bad weather.  Tonight the tent was full of good food, bad whiskey, friendly faces, and homemade fudge from my NOLS recipe.  Good serious conversation, good silly conversation, and a staunch optimism that we would all eventually get home.  We haven’t seen a plane in a few days, but most folks are just staying relaxed.

We kill time in heavy weather looking at mechanical advantage systems for rescue situations.

Our patrol (JP, me, and Chris), Kevin’s patrol (Kevin, Tony, Mark, Mik, and Andy), plus two badass Swedish skiers (Andreas and Magnus), and two strong Icelanders (Robert and Gummi) piled into the tent to swap stories and kill time.  The Scandanavians inspire me to keep looking outward with my climbing as a vehicle not only for stripping away baggage, but embracing new parts of the world while being far from home.

Party night at the ranger basecamp. The Icelander boys are in the huge matching down suits.

Mark and Mik guide for Outward Bound, and encouraged me to continue considering serving as an outdoor education instructor.  It’s definitely another idea under my skin, and getting to be a part of this internationally climbing community feels like a fresh wind compared to the stale challenges awaiting me in a cubicle.  Important feelings to consider.

After official hours only...

A few of the 70+ people still waiting for weather good enough to fly home in.

Salt Lake City, UT

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The Mormon settlers believed this to be their promised land.  I’m not sure I can say that, but damn if it hasn’t been a fun five days here.  I’m headed over to tour the Black Diamond factory before heading back to Vegas in just a bit, so this has to be brief- mostly to say, good times with good people.

After skiing on Tuesday I went for a walk and settled in for an excellent and cheap latte at a place called Coffee World near 9th and 9th.  Trendier than I care for, but quality coffee is important for the soul.  I also did some “shoe modifications” to address some of the issues I’ve been having with my feet.

Sometimes you just have to make some space for your baggage.

Wednesday morning I was very privileged to attend a training session at a very unique gym. For those of you who know, you can correctly expect that I am still sore.  I look forward to returning to this place as it is allowed.

A privilege I felt very fortunate to be included in.

I spent Wednesday afternoon in a tree dialing in some aid climbing skills I will likely need in a few weeks.  It was gorgeous out, and frankly I loved the fact that no one really found it strange to see a guy suspended 20′ in the air in a tree in a public park.

Dialing the skills you read about is essential, even if you don't have a cliff to work with.

Wednesday night I met up with a good friend from my NOLS course in 2007 who lives here and works with behaviorally challenged youth.  Bryce is one of the most upstanding dudes I know.  A walking example of integrity and kindness.  We were able to spend some time on the granite crags in Little Cottonwood Canyon with Bryce’s friend John on Thursday afternoon.  I was extremely pleased with both the quality of the climbing and the companionship.

Few finer things than being outside with fine people.

Granite is just around the corner, along with the limestone, quartzite, ice climbing, and skiing in Little Cottonwood canyon.

I’m headed south this morning to meet a friend from Portland in Vegas.  It seems to be the spot where partners, weather, and pitches all line up.  More on the upcoming plans soon.  Thanks for reading!