Re-Blog: An Open Letter to Those Who Hate

This is one of the best things I’ve read on the internet in a long time. I’m scared of what I see in political discourse in our country, in conversations I hear on the street, and where I hear people cite information from.  I’m all for people having different ideas, different feelings, different priorities, and different motivations.  Fine- but every day I see and hear a deepening chasm of hate and ignorance that frankly scares the shit out of me.

Recently, I was asked what I felt it meant to be “progressive,” a word I am not afraid to use to describe myself. To me, being progressive is being humble, willing, and interested in taking a look in the mirror at yourself and learning from what you see.  It is virtually synonymous with being accountable.  I answered honestly, and realized after the fact that my answer has nothing to do with supporting traditionally liberal values- I’m sure there are folks who espouse traditionally conservative values that would aspire to that same reasoning.

That said, I think it does have something to do with basic human decency, responsibility to our whole communities (including the natural resources that sustain us, the diversity of our citizens, and the many resources that we indirectly benefit from), and a commitment to thinking carefully.  We need this, we need it now- how can you help?  How can I help (feel free to post ideas to comments)?

Lolo Pass Backcountry Skiing

Note, for the regular readers, this is a more technical post for conditions at Lolo pass.  Sorry to spam your inboxes, at least there are pretty photos and y’all know I’m being safe.

Making the best of a grey day. Looking at Montana from the Idaho border.

I skinned out of the Lolo pass recreation area to the peak just southeast of the parking lot- I was solo, so conservative skiing and careful avalanche investigation were the themes of the day.  I dug two avalanche pits, one on the south aspect, one on the north aspect.  Videos from my tests are below.  It’s been a long time since I dug a pit and may have forgotten some of the process, but there’s only one way to remind yourself.  In each case I picked a location that I thought was indicative of avalanche terrain, but in which I had immediate access to anchors and with minimal snow above me (essentially just below the rollover) in the event of a slide.

It seems like the snowpack is definitely more consolidated from the high avy danger earlier this week, but there are some prominent layers, wind affected snow, and wind affected loading.  I skied the north facing aspect on mostly +/-20 degree terrain back to the cross country trail, and felt no instability (granted, there wasn’t a whole lot of snow either!).  If you have feedback on how I can make my pit tests more useful, please post to comments.  This is about being safe and having fun.

The South aspect pit was dug in 100-108cm of snow, down to the dirt.  Slope angle was approx. 29 degrees, and the aspect was 160 degrees SSE.  Here’s the video.

The North asepct pit was dug in 130cm of snow, but not quite down to the dirt.  Slope angle was 33deg, and the aspect was 350deg N.
Video #1
Video #2

(at time of publishing the videos weren’t quite done uploading, so give it a minute…)

Courtesy of the Forest Service, a little below average, but good for checking your expectations.

Re-Motivate

I don’t know, or care, if the title is a word.  Since getting back from Bozeman last Thursday morning, I’ve been low on motivation.  Perhaps the adrenaline associated with moving to Missoula finally wore off, or that the pain in my left foot is finally strong enough to seriously slow me down.  I spent the first day of 2012 with Hannah at Jerry Johnson hot springs, just over the Idado border- not a bad way to ring it in.

The New Year looks pretty good.

I just gotta jump into this year.

I do know that of the holidays, New Years Day and Thanksgiving are the ones that matter the most to me.  New Years (now) is a time to re-motivate, to plan, and dream big dreams about the coming year.  Thanksgiving is a time to reflect, appreciate, and respect how what may have been decided over New Years may or may not have gone down.  Strangely enough, while my Thanksgiving was full of gratitude, my New Years is somewhat absent of the motivation that I normally associate with this time of year.

Thankfully, I’ve spent this week hosting an awesome visitor in Missoula-  Jess, from the fabulous Strangled Darlings, came out to visit.  Her cheer, and desire to understand this place that I enjoy so much, made it an active week despite my low motivations.

If you come to Missoula, this may become mandatory.

Highlights included some great jamming, a carousel ride, trivia night at FLBC, and a day trip up to see the Missions and Flathead Lake.

So good to see a bit of Portland out in the Montana field.

Some of the view that first tempted me to Montana- the Missions.

For whatever lack of motivation I feel this year, I realized this on my hike yesterday: the most important thing to do with my life this year is not worry too much about it.

“Today isn’t special. We aren’t special until or unless we make ourselves so. And everyone’s journey is one day shorter. Did you use this day?” (attribution withheld out of respect for respect for the speaker)

Tomorrow is as full of opportunity as you make it.

Even Better

I spent most of 2011 traveling, climbing, having fun, and being with people I cared about.  I didn’t have to work, I had few if any responsibilities, and in review I’m pretty happy to say that it was the best year yet.  I rang in 2012 swing dancing to a live big band with a good portion of downtown Missoula as part of the First Night festivities- credit to Hannah for dragging me onto the dance floor, and credit to my friend and co-worker Andy for showing  some serious swing moves.

Enjoying a very tight band, and I didn't have to play!

One thing I’m sure of though, is that is only gets better.  I’m working, I have limited means, and I’m in a place which is less accessible to everywhere else- but somehow, all of those things seem like factors that are going to enrich my experience rather than detract from it.

I may not know exactly how yet, but 2012 is going to be even better... (yeah the photo is blurry, but the feeling is spot on.

New Years Day and Thanksgiving are the two major holidays that really mean something to me.  I got up this morning and biked over to the hills just behind the University and hiked up to the University M that is built into the hillside.  Something about the first light on the first morning is a good time to get inspired, and I hadn’t seen the city from that vantage yet.  What are you going to do to make 2012 the best year yet?  I’m not sure, but I got plans… stay tuned.

Missoula, on the first morning of 2012, from "The M" on Mt. Sentinel.

 

Austin, Texas

I’ve been at my aunt and uncle’s house in Austin, Texas since last Tuesday for the Christmas holiday- it was my fourth trip to Austin, and I like it just as much as ever. The rest of my family was here and it was generally good times. Par for the course was an enormous amount of good food, more than a few hands of bridge, and mostly gorgeous weather.

Christmas lights, ice climbing photos, and 60 degree sunsets. Welcome to my life.

The outstanding artwork of El Anatsui.

Austin is a rad place- you never know what you’ll find here. Family has brought me here, but in my various visits I’ve also found romance, music, and amazing food. It’s a good place to get to know. Finding things to do together with my family can sometimes be a challenge (the 11 of us span ages 11 thru 91), but we did a good job of it this year. Bowling, ice skating, art gallery, bridge, and a really difficult jigsaw puzzle kept folks together nicely.

Me and my grandma.

Obligatory holiday tradition. Enough sugar and butter for 2012.

I also really enjoyed sneaking out for a bike n’ hike carfree adventure with my uncle and brother (not easy from the West Hills of Austin), and enjoyed helping my aunt out with meal planning and shopping. My aunt is already especially rad, and together we brainstormed to revamped some of the family favorite meals into healthier and more sustainable versions. We shopped the local farmers market first, scored other organic ingredients in Whole Foods, and enjoyed plenty of discourse on the impact of our dietary choices.

Epic quinoa salad for 12.

Soren and I, psyched on the bike and hike adventure.

Not a bad holiday in the slightest, but that said there’s also been a lot on my mind that I’ve tried to write about and can’t seem to find the right words. For those of you who know me, and my history with religious organizations, Christmas isn’t always the most relaxing holiday. I won’t address that here, but it wasn’t all lights and wrapping paper. I’m very grateful for the generosity of my family, and for their respect in the differences in our beliefs. Despite a 9 hour layover in Denver today, I can’t wait to get back to Montana. It’s the first time I’ve traveled very far since “moving” to Missoula, and thus this is my first time coming “home” to my newly adopted city. More adventures soon.

Race to the Bottom

Local businesses are moving out of your community NOW! When there aren't any left...

There is a question I’ve been thinking about often recently.

It seems like many things in our culture today involve a race to the bottom.  Who can own the most stuff, make the most money, be right most often, or “beat” someone else at something have become fundamental drivers in economics, social hierarchy, and even family life.  Ghosted out timber towns- not quite dead, but definitely not live, are ample evidence.  They opened their doors, offered tax breaks, and ceded environmental concessions to lure in good paying jobs and “economic” security.  Once the forest was clear-cut, the timber companies moved on, and the people who had felt connected to their land, found themselves connected to a graveyard of stumps and chaff.  Talking to my cousin, in her sophomore year of high school, academic success depends on being in the top 10%, getting good letter grades has been prioritized over understanding the issues that  result in a tolerant and engaged citizenship.

We praise wealth, and yet we eschew it.

As was better said on Seth Godin’s blog, the paradox of a race to the bottom iswhat happens when you win? (both links are worth the read)

This the case for local economics.  For local businesses, for paying more, for demanding quality and humanity in our economics.  One of the most satisfying parts of my holiday in Austin has been getting a substantial amount of food for the family at a local farmer’s market and paying in cash.  Most of the gifts I brought for people were crafted in the place that I bought them.  Much more has been written about the topic- but I highlight it here again because supporting our local economies, our communities, is the single most important goal we can have in spending our money (in case you want to reconsider what local looks like, you may have it better than you think).  The after Christmas sale isn’t such a good deal when you realize what’s on sale.

“When you try to get something for nothing, what you end up with is nothing worth having.”  (Ralph Marston, I think…)

Hyalite

I’ve been in Bozeman since Saturday morning for a few days of ice before heading to Austin, Texas for some family holiday action tomorrow.  Many of you know that tucked into the foothills outside of town, Hyalite Canyon holds one of the best ice climbing areas in the lower 48, and I’ll take any excuse to get here.  It’s hard to describe just how special this place is- gorgeous, steeped in the history of the sport, and full of community.  I haven’t had the opportunity to write about Hyalite on this blog yet but this place has been one of my favorite winter playgrounds in the past few years, the words really fall short tonight.

Peeking around the corner into the goodness.

I’m staying with my friends Drew and Marko while I’m in Bozeman.  Pete Tapley is in the kitchen, we chatted with Jack Tackle in the parking lot yesterday, Renny Jackson is in town for a few pitches.  The legends abound.  Stories are shared, climbs are sent, and yet most folks are really fairly humble- it’s an incredible scene to be a part of.  My friend Colin drove over from Portland to Missoula on Friday, and we drove to Bozeman on Saturday together.  Getting a late start, we happened to meet Jack and Doug Chabot at the base of Magically Delicious, and I got to wrap up a lead on this classic mixed climb that scared the pants off me a few years ago when I belayed Colin up it.  I also ran it out on Elevator Shaft, but Colin wasn’t feeling well so we called it an early day.

Feeling the magic on Magically Delicious.

Sunday I headed out with Drew and Marko for a lap on Genesis II and Through Four More. Genesis was taken, so I jumped on the lead for “More” without a warmup.  I got the send, but didn’t really feel comfortable until a few top rope laps later.  That night we took a walk back to check conditions on RocketBoy, one of the last great unclimbed “all Free” ascents left in the Canyon.

It's all about the triangle shape on Through Four More.

Headed down the rappel lines.

We enjoyed the sun, and I enjoyed great company with friends I hadn’t seen in far too long.

Drew, showing us all how to stem.

Marko taking in the sun.

My favorite times though are at the end of the day- the canyon is quiet, and the fading light hangs delicately on the canyon rim until the stars come out.  Being at the top of a climb at twilight is truly remarkable.  Today I did some work and worked on Christmas in the morning, but had the itch to see one more sunset in the canyon. I took off around 2pm for a few solo laps on “The Fat One” an easy ice lead that I had struggled with on my third trip here two years ago.

The Fat One, without anyone around on a Monday afternoon.

I'm missing a rope behind me (the skinny line is a tree).

It was my first experience climbing ice without wearing a rope, no rope or belay on the way up- just a tag line in my backpack for the rappel off.  Somehow, it was just what I wanted to do.  I was in complete control the whole time, and enjoyed getting on the route with no one around.  Completely alone at the end of the day in one of the most beautiful places I know is a great way to wrap up a few awesome days- many thanks for stellar partners and splitter weather.

The colors hint at the richness of our experience here.

Troy, Montana

Where is Troy, Montana and why on earth am I there? What’s been going on that my blog hasn’t been updated in 9 days?

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Driving a 12,000lb insulation truck makes taking photos at the same time really difficult.

Yes, it was another great weekend hanging mostly around Missoula- I played bass at a contra-dance, went ice climbing with Hannah, and got out for a great hike in the Rattlesnake wilderness north of town. In all fairness though, I’ve been really busy mostly due to an entirely different adventure- one that takes me back into business, and forward into making an impact on this community.

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Celsius on the left, Fahrenheit on right, inside the house after several hours with the heater on.

Two blocks from the room I rent in Missoula is an unassuming red brick building with two large white trucks out front. Every morning a group of high school students stands on the corner smoking cigarettes and avoiding class. I notice them because I’m usually drinking coffee and walking into the building to go to my job. I’m employed again, proudly and happily, with the fine folks at Energetechs (pronouced “energetics”).

I’m here in Troy, Montana for my first insulation job. Many times in my career have I recommended the installation of insulation, many times have I evaluated the performance of windows or a heat recovery ventilator. This week I am on site- to feel the cold, to get tired, to do the work, of actually building an energy efficient home in far north-western Montana. Today was Day 1 on the jobsite, and tonight I’m beat. Two more full days ahead. We leave before sunrise, and get home well after sunset. The cold makes you appreciate why we install insulation in the first place.

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Crew leader Josh working the spray foam gun.

 

The Question

I didn’t really plan for another amazing weekend, but it just kinda happened. Darn.

Friday night: Potluck with familiar friends.
Saturday morning: last chance rock climbing with a super strong new partner (who lives across the street). Unfortunately the temperature refused to climb above freezing and the sun didn’t come out, so our hands were numb after one route. Many thanks for getting out Steve!

I was happy to meet and climb with Steve, but not so happy about the temps...

Saturday evening: Show and Tell Birthday. Some parties you bring presents, but this one, you bring yourself, ready to share your best.

Reasons show and tell is awesome- nose flute. Some assistance required.

Saturday night proper: Mad Men party. Dress shirts got washed. The tux jacket came out. The dress shoes were unearthed. By my own admission, I looked damn good.
Sunday morning: ice climbing at Finley Creek with a familiar friend and a new friend. Many thanks Hannah and Jamie!

Axes are for swinging!

Jamie cruises through his first ice pitch in two years.

Sunday night: Mexican food and movies.

This is how ice climbing days are supposed to end.

Really, this is what my life looks like?

On a more serious note, I got my first taste this season of a question. It’s the same question I’m always out to answer, the same question that the mountain never stops asking. In climbing, but particularly in ice climbing where the hazards are particularly real, there is a single important question- do you have it? The question came to me not because I am a great ice climber, or because I was on a hard route, but simply due to circumstance. The ice was thin, the screws were striking air, I am still getting my “lead head” on for the season, and the route got a little steep. Suddenly, there it was, while I was hanging off my tools- do you have it Skander?

Out looking for an answer...

Facing, and answering this question, is one of the most rewarding parts of climbing, and the more serious the question, the more rewarding the answer. It is not uncommon to hear people who climb regularly, and push themselves climbing, describe the experience as “clarifying.” We climb because we learn more about ourselves in doing it. Even when the answer is “no,” and we back off and go home, we learn about ourselves. We learn to respect our failures, and learn from them- and when the answer is yes, we learn about our strengths, and the fallacies that our minds would like us to believe but that our hearts simply will not accept. The moment of doubt was brief, but it was a taste of that singular important question and reminds me I am excited for this season. “The mind is primary,” it is the most important muscle to train- Sunday was a good day to get just a little, incrementally, stronger.

My room, after another stellar weekend in Missoula.

Surrender

Somewhere in my head there is a cheezy, yet appropriate, quote: “One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but cannot be taken away unless it is surrendered.” (Michael J. Fox). Bonus points if you can identify where/when/what character said this. Post to comments.

I had to walk a familiar line with some of my personal relationships last night. It’s uncomfortable, confusing, and frankly, something I don’t like having to do- if it gets to the point where the line is hard to walk, then I’ve already made some mistakes. I did what my gut told me was right, and what I believe was the appropriate, respectful, and honest thing to do. I feel like an asshole this morning, like I didn’t properly respect some other people’s feelings, but only because I surrendered my judgement of the situation to someone else.

On a lighter note, Wednesday night this week I dug out my mom’s 1950’s era sewing machine (that I used to know how to operate) for a quick sewing refresher. Getting all domestic is so satisfying…

At the MUD Sewing for Guys workshop. Life in Missoula is good.