Category Archives: Philosophy

The Real Thing

Leave a reply

While my trip to Salt Lake City was a hilarious amount of fun, my friends are also very good at asking important questions too.  In the course of getting to know each other, Sarah asked me-

“What are you looking for out there (when you go adventuring)?”

To be clear, Sarah has spent more time off the beaten path having her own adventures, but this is a question worth asking between climbing partners.  Reading back through some email correspondence, I felt like this was supposed to show up here.  Usually New Years is somewhat of a “high holiday” for me- a time for reflection, and prioritization- but my NYE got eaten by the International Date Line and my reflections have been foggy from jetlag.  Maybe this is just what I’m going to be looking for in 2013.

Simply put, I am looking for the real thing.

“Peace is who we are when we are completely honest.” (Ralph Marston)

I’ve only just recently started to describe it as “the real thing”. The real thing is honest. Honesty is peace.  More that simply saying that what I am looking for is peace- describing it as the real thing reminds me of how to get there- it makes the search less illusive. Credit where due, the term comes from here.

The real thing happens when we have the right combination of risk, friendship, beauty, simplicity, authenticity, and probably a few other things I can’t name so easily.  Sometimes, the real thing is enjoying dinner with new friends, and sometimes it’s a multi-day, runout, alpine scarefest.  You know it’s the real thing when you realize that you don’t have to hide anything.  When you can’t hide anything.  When you’re scared, and you wish you could pretend, but you remember that everything works better when you don’t.  Hard climbing tends to be the real thing because it demands our complete attention- we can’t fake training we haven’t done or technique we haven’t learned.  I’m pretty sure the real thing happens just as much in our day to day lives as it does when we are climbing, it’s just easier to ignore.

I am much more comfortable getting to know people with my faults on display than simply the things I’m proud of.  When I’m not trained up.  When I’m not shrending hard.  When I feel my worst.  Because honestly, we are all only at our best for a fraction of the time.  I’m looking for the cleanest, simplest, most authentic version of myself.  I’m looking to spend time with people who are as optimistic, grateful, enthusiastic, creative, and engaged as I am (or more so).  I believe that “you become who you hang around. (MFT)” and I’m looking to build friendships in which I would never say something about someone that I could not say to them.  To make friends that won’t settle for my bullshit, and who are as excited about next week’s version of myself as I am.

I am looking to share experiences with people that don’t leave me wondering if they felt the same way, because how they felt will be clear in their eyes- or they will feel compelled to speak up.  I hope that I can be more honest with each successive person I meet- and learn to be more honest with myself along the way.  Adventuring outside inspires the most honesty, and therefore I believe it represents my path to peace.

Speak Out

Leave a reply

Someone told me today that they wanted to get better at public speaking and asked for my advice.  I thought what I had to say was worth sharing here:

“Connect with your passion in whatever you are talking about. Bring whatever you have to say back to your passion- if its invasive species, or vegan gourmet, or energy efficiency, connect to that. If you are talking about something really esoteric or far from your passions, find a way to joke about it, or something about it that you genuinely want to learn more about.  If you find yourself in the unfortunate place of talking about something you really don’t know anything about, own that too- get vulnerable and admit your ignorance, there are few better ways to make friends.

People connect via authenticity, vulnerability, and humor- if you can use one of these, you win. Also, practice. It sucks and it’s hard, but speaking is really one of those things that only happens when you put yourself on the spot and do it. Take every chance you can get to speak in front of people (it’s scary), and make a deal with yourself that you won’t back down from an opportunity.  It gets worse, then better, and then- it gets fun.”

Next Friday I’m looking forward to giving a presentation about my professional work to a group of architects in Helena.  I am a little nervous about it.  The vulnerability tactic is definitely my plan, but I also respect what I have to say, so I hope I can speak authentically.  I mildly expect my audience to eat me alive (architects and contractors in the construction industry tend to be at odds with one another).  I can’t hide the fact that I’ve only been at this contracting gig for a year (holy crap, it’s been a year)- so I intend to own it, and while usually presenters are on the spot to teach something, I’m thankful that I tend to walk away having learned something.

ThanksAction

Leave a reply

One of the biggest reasons I like Thanksgiving so much is that it reminds me (and leaves a day off) to express how thankful I am to the many people that make my life rich.  I call this ThanksAction.  I will give Facebook some credit for being a useful way to keep track of people that might otherwise disappear into the ether.  My Thursday was punctuated with cooking, laughing, and text/phone/facebook messages from across the world.

Hiking the M to get our appetite on!

Dinner was a small group of lovely folks, and a large table of delicious food.

Prairie Heritage Farm Heirloom turkey, perfectly seasoned and done.

Very thankful for friends that love to cook.

Who are you thankful for?  How can you let them know?  I know few things that can improve your day as powerfully and quickly as sharing some gratitude with someone.  My ThanksAction has continued through the weekend, and perhaps one of the things I’m most thankful for is that I haven’t run out of people to get in touch with yet.

Special.

Leave a reply

It is important to remember that the most important, special, things tend to happen in just their own time- and that time has been the last 9 days.

This past weekend I was again at Prairie Heritage Farm to slaughter turkeys for Thanksgiving.  You’ve seen the pictures from last year, so I’ll spare the gory details, and if last weekend wasn’t one to celebrate my anniversary in Montana, this one certainly was.

The high, northern plains.

There’s a feeling I get being out there, on the high northern plains.  The openness of the land and the warmth of its people remind me why the hard, unglamorous work of farming is what has shaped many of the richest, and most fulfilling parts of our culture.  Jacob and Courtney seem to draw a particularly beautiful crew of people each year to help with the grisly work- I was particularly privileged to enjoy the company of my new friend Katie for the drive from Missoula to Power, and our shared work slitting throats together.  We had glorious weather, and spectacular new facilities for the slaughter- making this year less about “getting through it”, and more about “doing it right and having fun.

Getting what she came for.

Farm-fresh and amazing, dinner is not to be missed.

The introspective observations:

  • As much as I enjoy my time on the farm, I don’t feel compelled to farm- but I do feel compelled to empower other people to farm.
  • The hard and unglamorous work of farming often mirrors the hard, unglamorous work of contracting- and I like that.
  • Being around this group of people made me start to seriously think about my own aspirations in participating in the sustainable food system.  How can I participate more?

A humble day of work and 10 gallons of blood.

The practical observations:

  • People always look funnier with turkey blood splattered on their faces.

“I told you not to look directly at the turkey…”

  • Turkey farts smell really bad, and are hilarious.

    The look on little Declan’s face says it all…

  • There is such a thing as “sipping Tequila.”

It was a special weekend, and no doubt I got what I came for.

A few other highlights from the last 9 days:

  • I had a hilariously good time as a guest soloist with the Dodgy Mountain Men last Thursday night as Missoula said goodnight to our beloved Top Hat (until spring of 2013).  Thank you gentlemen, and I look forward to more songs soon.

Soundcheck.

  • Despite a year of injuries and training focused entirely elsewhere- I still put 10 more pounds on my best-ever deadlift last Tuesday night.
  • Last Sunday I took the first few steps on the next BIG adventure.  Stay tuned.

Safe to say, I will have plenty to give Thanks for at the table this Thursday.

The Seeley-Swan at sunset.

Special?

1 Reply

Today didn’t feel special, but I had the notion that it was supposed to.

I did not appropriately prioritize my time today.

I did not accomplish anything of particular note.

The adventures I would like to be having remain far away.

I started paying rent at an apartment in Missoula on November 10, 2011.  The ordinari-ness of today rests uncomfortably at the back of my head, as it seems to be another in a string of ordinary days.  This is not acceptable.  I look forward to making tomorrow different.

Participation

1 Reply

There’s only one thing that you must do today- vote.

Please do not let this thing fall off your list today.  Call in sick, take your kids with you, drive instead of bike- this matters.

Some people say “it’s rigged” or “my vote doesn’t matter” or “I refuse to participate in a system that is broken.”  Fine, perhaps, but- your participation only makes it less broken, and most of the things on your ballot (like your local officials) actually do depend on a handful of votes.  Skip the national election if you really must (I would still prefer you didn’t), but there are people in your community that are fighting damn hard to work for you, and they’ve earned your support, I guarantee it.

If you don’t know where to vote- here.

If you don’t have time to research a candidate, email me with a phone number and I will call you and help you.

Think, and participate.

Solo, Part 2

Leave a reply

How do you stop looking for something you can’t seem to find?

Release the belief that you need it.

Tonight I spent $16 on cover charge and drinks with people that I wanted to care about, but the grand total was coming home feeling empty.

Last night I spent alone, sweating in the gym, and came home feeling satisfied with my life.

I’ve put most of the pieces of my life back together since I stopped traveling one year ago.  Profession, adventure, public service, community.  Romance hasn’t been one of them, and sometimes that feels lonely.  I’ve had this conversation several times with friends lately- that I’m smart and fit and funny and talented- but solo is how I roll whether I like it or not.  Strangely enough, I’m convinced it’s not the external factors that really matter- the music was good, the people were fun, but sometimes you know when you are trying to convince yourself that you’re having a good time.

I’m not proud to write this post, but it’s part of my life so it must be discussed.  The rich experience that some of my favorite couples enjoy makes charging through my life solo seem just a little less vibrant.

Council

1 Reply

Power for a new Montana.

This past weekend, one year ago, I drove out to Montana from Portland to attend the 2011 AERO Annual Meeting.  The drive felt familiar from ice climbing trips, and the landscaping was just as stunning as I had remembered it from previous trips.  If you’ve been following, you know that the trip in 2011 was different, because the only trip back to Portland was to collect my belongings and say goodbye.

Welcome.

This past weekend, I drove a little further east to Lewistown, Montana, to attend the 2012 AERO Annual Meeting.  Driving across the beautiful Montana landscape, I remembered AERO being introduced to me as “a tribe”, and the Annual Meeting, our highest council. Our tribe is that of sustainable living, and while we are far between on the vast landscape, our bonds are strong.

Senator Jon Tester opens the morning by video-conference. We had a nice little chat about energy conservation…

Measurement and verification data from regenerative grassland practices using cattle. Compelling.

I wish I could stick links in the photo captions, but I can’t.  Jim Howell from Grasslands LLC and The Savory Institute uses cows to heal land (and feed people).  I used to think that sustainable ranching was an oxymoron.  Now I think it might be the only thing that could actually fix our North American eco-system.

I love Jeff and Betsy Funk.  They might be two of the most influential people I’ve met in Montana.  I’ve got to figure out how to spend some time with them without making significant financial contributions to AERO (which I did, again…)

One of Jeff Funk’s amazing tools, up for the live auction. I’ll be headed back to make some more.

I’m not sure if people expected to see me again, but they welcomed me as if they did.  There was a certain sense of pride in connecting with people I had not seen since last year, and sharing that I had indeed found my place in Missoula, in Montana.  We shared successes and failures, and hopes and dreams- and more than anything, when this tribe gets together, we have a really, really good time.

Caption Unnecessary.

27

2 Replies

Today is the last day of my life that I will be 27 years old.  Towards the end of my workday, a client tore into me for wasting their time.  Given how much I enjoy other people wasting my time, the feedback hit me hard.  As usual, I stewed over our exchange through most of my otherwise enjoyable evening, but eventually came up with something better to think about.

What am I looking forward to leaving behind in my 27th year?

I’m a contractor now, and generally that means you wear your man-pants (aka. Carhartts) to work- and a thin skin doesn’t last long in the office.  After my gym session tonight, I realized I’m looking forward to leaving behind my willingness to take offense.  If you are reading this- I’ll look forward to your help keeping me focused on that goal.

Everything

1 Reply

It is my favorite season.

“I like your life here Skander.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Margaret and I were driving back from a perfect day of rock climbing in Mill Creek, and her observation, like her visit, helped flush away some of the chaos that I’ve been keeping at bay lately.  How do you describe a weekend that encompasses every conversation, every part of yourself, all of your past, all of your future?  Well, it was Friday noon through Tuesday morning, but everything is a lot.

Home grown tomatoes at the PEAS Farm

Margaret and I met at Northwestern while working to push sustainability into the engineering school agenda.  Her intelligence, tenacity, and unlimited joy were obvious from the start, but I never suspected how our friendship would grow.  After Northwestern, Margaret moved to Alaska and my subsequent expeditions were always bookended with homemade bread, midnight sunsets, and time with her and her amazing boyfriend in their cabin in Palmer.  We share common dreams for sustainable business, social services, and food systems.  We pursue common goals for introspection, self-enrichment, and service to others.  She was the last of my summer visitors this year, and early October celebrated her visit with clear skies and perfect temperatures to enjoy the best of Missoula.

Topping out one of Margaret’s first real rock climbs.

First Friday, climbing at Mill Creek, hiking on Mt. Jumbo, visits with farmers, were a perfect introduction to Missoula, but under all of it, the real highlight was in the conversation that never seemed to stop.  Margaret doesn’t mince words, pull punches, or let questions go unasked- and neither do I.  More than anything else, our friendship is rooted in a clear deep openness, and we didn’t waste the short time we had together.  The questions she is able to ask helped me verbalize some emotions that I haven’t been able to express, and to admit some feelings that I haven’t been able to face.  Some visitors I’ve had have made me wonder why I’m making life happen here, but showing Margaret around Missoula made me realize how well this place fits my life- or perhaps, how well my life fits my life, here.