Palmer, Alaska

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I’ve spent the past six days between expeditions in Palmer, Alaska, with two good friends from Northwestern.  Margaret moved up here just after she graduated, met a really great guy who likes to fix computers, and decided to make her mark by saving local agriculture.  Although I didn’t know my friend Courtney very well before she arrived in Alaska, I feel very fortunate to have gotten to know her much better.  We enjoyed quite a bit of amazing food, great hiking, local Alaska culture.  Preparing tonight to head back into the wilderness, I can’t help but notice that my heart hurts to say goodbye to such good friends.  The wilderness strips away everything, which is why coming back out always feels so good.  I’ll let the photos finish the story:

Learning my father's craft- baking bread with Margaret.

Just a little Alaska irony...

Artwork by Emily Longbrake- a perfect way to remember wine, cheese, and bread on the beach with new friends.

The weather split just in time for me to show Courtney around the Matanuska glacier.

It's a privilege to have had so much quality time with an exceptional woman.

All geared up for helicopter training with the Park Service.

We’re catching a bus to the north side of Denali National Park tomorrow morning, taking the bus to Wonder Lake tomorrow afternoon, and hopefully fording the McKinley bar river in the middle of Thursday night when the water is nice and low.  We are scheduled to head back out of the range on July 13 and I’ll have more updates then, thanks for following!

Two hands, two feet, and some chocolate

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The backcountry, just outside of town.

Staring out at the vista, the juxtaposition of being 45 minutes from home just didn’t seem to add up to me.  My friend Courtney from Northwestern is starting a similar nomadic journey and it’s been great to be able to meet up with her and share some awesome Alaska experiences together.  We spent yesterday on a dayhike into the Hatcher Pass area northwest of Palmer.  Known for hiking and backcountry skiing, I was struck at just how wild the landscape was, despite the proximity to “the city.”  Normally I don’t feel the sensation of being in the wilderness without a heavy pack, climbing gear, and several days on the trail, but as we pulled onto the ridge, Courtney and I remarked at just how much we were able to do with two hands, two feet, and a little bit of chocolate.  Many thanks for a great day out.

Its still cold here in the summer.

So fun to share new places with old friends.

Cracks, part 2

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(from June 4, 2011)

Despite the fact that I’m trying not to think about it, the bruises on my elbows and knees won’t let me forget. I took my first real live cravasse fall today while out for a short ski patrol to check on glacial travel conditions. True to the nature of glaciers, the live situation did not mirror all the training we’ve done lately, and the situation was bad.

The slot (cravasse) I was in was running parallel to our direction of travel, only 20″ wide (just wider than my shoulders), and 12 feet below the surface- full of bottomless ice cold water. Due to the direction of the travel, the rope didn’t catch my fall and cut through the snow directly up towards my partner. I stopped falling when I hit the water and started floating, and despite my initial calm of falling in the hole, I knew I was in deep when I hit the water and took stock of the situation.

JP did his best to stop the fall, but the direction of the crack really meant neither JP or the rope were useful for self-rescue- I was floating until my team could get another rope to me. Ultimately the details are small, I got cold, another team was able to help us, I got out of the crack, someone from the other team went into another crack in the process, and our mini afternoon ski patrol turned into a mini epic. I got back to camp, got warm, and spent some time thinking that the Muldrow glacier is probably going to offer a very serious challenge indeed. Many thanks to Chris, JP, and the other team for their assistance in pulling me out of a really tight spot. The only true victim was my fancy new camera which took the swim with me and now makes for an expensive looking paper weight (and hence there are no photos for this post).

In retrospect, it was an incredibly valuable experience. I learned a lot, no one was seriously injured, and I walked away feeling more in control of the fears I have long carried about cravasse falls because I took the ride, didn’t die, and walked away. Training does not replace experience.

Every Morning

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(from June 3, 2011)

In the past two days, I have consumed all 520 pages of “The Help”, by Kathryn Stockett.  It was delicious.

“Every morning until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision.  You gone have to ask youself, ’em I gone believe that them fools say about me today?'”

-Constantine, “The Help”
by Kathryn Stockett

Tent-bound

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(from June 2, 2011)

The crappy weather and glacial conditions leave plenty of time for reflection and excellent time with newfound friends.  We’re chilling like villains in the heart of the lower Kahiltna.  I promised myself a long time ago that I would rally against the concept of being jaded, and found myself thinking about ego, humility and opportunity.  A few reminders for myself:

  • My confidence is more effective that the doubt of those who challenge me.
  • My joy is more powerful that the anger of those who hate.
  • My creativity is more attractive than the certainty of the pessimists that taunt me.
  • My humility is more energizing than the ego of those that goad me.
  • My flexibility is stronger that the rigid beliefs of those that shirk the required hard work.

All of us are smarter than one of us.  All of us together are greater than one of us alone.

The last good look at Mt. Hunter for many days.

“The Size Thing” chapter of “The Ecology of Commerce” by Paul Hawken hit me really hard, and reminds me that “Small is Beautiful” is another important book to include on the reading list.  It concludes with a powerful statement:

“An ethic is not an ethic, and a value not a value, with out some sacrifice for it, something given up, something not taken, something not gained.  We do it (ethic, value) for a greater good, for something worth more than just money and power and position.” – Jerry Kohlberg

At the same time, we’ve had a lot of fun in the bad weather.  Tonight the tent was full of good food, bad whiskey, friendly faces, and homemade fudge from my NOLS recipe.  Good serious conversation, good silly conversation, and a staunch optimism that we would all eventually get home.  We haven’t seen a plane in a few days, but most folks are just staying relaxed.

We kill time in heavy weather looking at mechanical advantage systems for rescue situations.

Our patrol (JP, me, and Chris), Kevin’s patrol (Kevin, Tony, Mark, Mik, and Andy), plus two badass Swedish skiers (Andreas and Magnus), and two strong Icelanders (Robert and Gummi) piled into the tent to swap stories and kill time.  The Scandanavians inspire me to keep looking outward with my climbing as a vehicle not only for stripping away baggage, but embracing new parts of the world while being far from home.

Party night at the ranger basecamp. The Icelander boys are in the huge matching down suits.

Mark and Mik guide for Outward Bound, and encouraged me to continue considering serving as an outdoor education instructor.  It’s definitely another idea under my skin, and getting to be a part of this internationally climbing community feels like a fresh wind compared to the stale challenges awaiting me in a cubicle.  Important feelings to consider.

After official hours only...

A few of the 70+ people still waiting for weather good enough to fly home in.

Cracks, part 1

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(from May 30th, 2011)

My ego was swelling  and I could feel my frustration rising.  We were practicing cravasse rescue and I was supposed to be demonstrating, but mostly I couldn’t stop noticing the things I missed.  Chris was making me feel like a fool 16 minutes into the rescue  and I was already mad at him, and more angry with myself.  We stopped the exercise early to debrief but the mistakes continued through the afternoon.  And then, I recognized how badly I needed the humility that seemed illusive.

It should have been obvious- until 3 days ago, I hadn’t traveled on a glacier in 2 years.  Chris is a professional mountain ranger with hundreds of field days and some of the best training available.   We all make mistakes- especially in the hot seat when our buddy is in the crack.  We talked.  I learned, energy and joy returned.  We sweated together under the blazing Alaska sun and watched the avalanches cascades off the flanks of Mt. Francis.  It was a great day.  Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.  Humility trumps ego every time– and don’t forget rule #6.

Mt. Francis, just above Basecamp.

What Next, part 1

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(from May 31, 2011)

How does going to play around on Denali N.P. help me figure out what’s next in my life?  It leaves me with a lot of time to think.As I think of myself as a Change Agent (my preferred title on LinkedIn)- someone willing to take on the hard work of making our civilized lifestyle more sustainable- being here might not seem like the most obvious thing to do, but I’m starting to realize that it just might be the best way about it.

“You’re not wasting your time here.”  Luke said to me as we were packing up at the base of ‘Bacon ‘N Eggs”.  It was like he knew what was lurking in my sub-concious.  I had asked him how he had found himself providing Solar PV and mechanical engineering services as an independent contractor for the park service, as well as mountain guiding and hunting guiding when things were slow.  He just fell into it- because he did what he was interested in, in the places he wanted to be in.  Luke stuck to his guns, and chased his dream fearlessly.  He recognizes that his chase is still on, but that the chase is part of the dream itself, so he’s living it out to where it might take him.  Thanks for the lesson.

Two days since our climb and I’ve been listening to the snow fall on my tent for two hours while reading “The Ecology of Commerce” by Paul Hawken.  He lays out a compelling plan for changes that would allow our capitalist economy to reflect our human reality much more accurately.  Looking back at why I left my job, and looking forward to what I’d like my life to look like, I feel like I’m an important point in my career- with some important experience and ideas to share, but still lots of room to learn and grow.

Chris has a humble axiom he likes to share with climbers coming on the mountain: “Better climbers than you have died here, and worse climbers than you have summitted.”  It begs humility, and possibility, and is an important reminder for business.  All businesses want to be successful- some are, and some aren’t.  Of those that succeed, some are good at what they do, some are lucky, and some simply don’t have competition.  A few of the important things that I believe are imperative for successful businesses:

  • Your employees are no more and no less important than your clients.  Don’t let that balance slip in your head or your co-workers heads.
  • Do whatever you do in a unique and innovative way.  If you want to have an unprecedented result (a more sustainable building, a better product, a more powerful impact), you won’t get there doing things the same way you’ve always done them (and the way that everyone else does them).  If your doing things the same way as your competitors, you’ll get the same result.*
  • A professional organization will accomplish nothing without an accountable project management process, and an accountable culture amongst all levels of the staff.

As I look forward to the next step of my professional development the ability to understande and overcome these challenges is a key part of what I have to offer.  I look forward to finding an employer that is excited to embrace these challenges, and that leverage my talents to create a more sustainable world.  Maybe this doesn’t exist.  Maybe I will have to hang my own slate out there.  Only time, and the universe, can tell.

*Cilogear Backpacks is one of my favorite examples in innovation.  They offer a premium product, are price competitive, and locally made, while offering innovative designs with a minimum of wasted time and materials.

Bacon ‘N Eggs

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(from May 29th, 2011)

Darryl Miller talks about the history of early Alaska exploration the way my good friend Dick Paulson talks about birds.  It makes the tent feel homey, the stories vast and well illustrated, and suddenly you feel inspired to get outside.  Darryl has done the Muldrow glacier route on Denali 3 different times, as well as a host of other massive Alaska mega-transects, and considers it one of his finest adventures.  I honestly can’t wait to get on it next month.  Darryl stopped by basecamp for a few days to help out with air traffic control, and it was an awesome opportunity to hang out with one of the great climbers of the previous era.

We had another ranger patrol join us a few days ago, comprised of a ranger (Joe) and three solar power engineers (Blake, Mark, and Luke).  We’ve obviously had lots to talk about.  Please check out Luke’s awesome work at Peaks to Prairie Power.  Last night Luke walked up to me with a grin on his face and asked “hey you wanna do Bacon ‘n Eggs tomorrow?”  10 pitches of classic climbing pioneered by Mark Twight was impossible to turn down.
“Yes” I replied without thinking.  Later I came to terms with Luke about my feet.  I wanted to do the route, but was scared of what ice climbing and a long day of alpine commitment would do to my feet.  Last night I couldn’t really get psyched, but agreed to go with the understanding that my foot was a “known unknown.”

The route follows the ice chimneys trending up and to the right to the snowfield.

Just a gorgeous day to chase a gorgeous route.

At least my partner was fully psyched and ready to fire.

We went for it, leaving camp at 4:50am and were under the base of the route at 6:50am.  I felt solid touring up the glacier and even a little psyched when I saw the route, but the dread never totally left the back of my head.  We simul-climbed over the bergschrund until Luke ran out of screws, and I led off pitch 2, getting a long slab with a fun step at the top on pitch 2.  That said, by the time the ropes came tight at the bottom of p3, I knew there was no way I could hold back the pain for another 8 pitches.  I popped a pill before heading up, but each kick brought increasing pain, and Luke knew we were headed down even before he saw me from the belay.

A full 60m lead in the mountains...

At some point, I'm going to have to stop looking at Mt. Foraker and start climbing it.

Luke is fully stoked to sink a #2 Cam after running it out on thin ice.

We rapped off without incident (still getting used to rapping off v-threads I didn’t set), and I had to pop another pill before skiing back to camp.  Regardless, I’m glad we took a shot at the route- the climbing and position are definitely classic, and felt like I gave the climb an honest, level effort.  Based on the experience, I suspect I may not climb ice for quite some time, and I’ll need to be careful in the more technical sections of the Muldrow.  I had borrowed someone else’s boots for this trip, which may or may not have been a great idea- they climbed much better than my tele-ski boots would have, but also didn’t fit so well (ed. note- my tele-ski boots were very comfortable for the rest of the trip and don’t concern me for the upcoming Muldrow expedition).  Most concerning was the fact that the bunions I have not had surgery on caused me almost as much trouble as the one I recently had removed.  Shit.

So the adventure continues…

Kahiltna International Airport

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The next series of dated blog posts are transcribed directly from my journal, as I wrote them over the course of the past 14 days.  Enjoy them here and now as I created them for this blog but was unable to post them.  I’m still working on photos, but wanted to start sharing some content– hopefully I can get photos up tonight but the process is a little delayed due to the dampness of my camera (more explanation shortly).

Ready to rock.

Kahiltna Basecamp, Denali National Park, Alaska.  I’m here to staff the National Park Service camp here for the next 14 days.  Essentially, I’m a glorified front desk ranger, with my primary duties revolving around cleaning up trash and poop violations, grunting equipment to and from the helicopter pad, and facilitating questions from incoming climbers.  That said, I’ll be working in the most beautiful office in the world, learning some fun lessons, and enjoying some hilarious characters (I hope).  After the hustle of bouncing from place to place for the past few weeks, I’m looking forward to the chance to just chill out.

Sometimes, getting up in the middle of the night to pee is awesome.

I love this.  I love being here, being with these people, doing this thing, living this experience.  The energy hit when I asked Brandon about sitting in on his glacier travel/cravasse rescue lecture.  Even though my past experience has left me with  a solid understanding of these systems, seeing the opportunity, the thought hit me “yes, I’d love to learn more, see things another way.”  Brandon is a former YOSAR ranger, and one of the most knowledgeable people regarding rope systems on the Denali staff- it was a rare opportunity for advanced knowledge.

Necessary training, just under the eye of "The Great One" (Denali in the background)

It recharges me because I love to be humble, I love learning new things, or discovering things that I thought I knew, and finding that I didn’t know them at all.  I love when other people ask me to help (like facing my fears of taking a whipper into a cravasse), or cooking hot dinner for 10 when the day was done.

Jumping in cracks is fun, when you expect it...

There are always more ways to help.  Serving with the Denali park staff is a good opportunity to practice.  The staff know more about technical rigging, medicine, incident management, group dynamics, and leadership, but they need me because I know a little bit and am happy to help.  I came up here because it seems like Alaska is able to inspire me to be the best version of myself that I have found so far.  Finding ways to help is just another facet of experience that re-inforces that.

Brandon is taking a patrol up the West Buttress route (the same patrol I did two years ago) and I’ve sincerely enjoyed getting to know them over the past few days here.  It’s an obvious example of the mountain community that I love.  Being at basecamp is an opportunity to further embrace this community, and a chance not to be missed.

Wasilla, Alaska

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Yes, the hometown of my favorite American politician, Sarah Palin. I’m waiting at the much recommended Pandemonium bookstore meet my good friend Margaret for lunch, and have my first access to wi-fi. We flew out of the Alaska range yesterday afternoon which was surprisingly beautiful against the odds of a grim forecast. Obviously, I’ve got lots of updates for the blog but the quick summary from the past few weeks includes a few crazy Serbians, swimming, and way too many games of euchre. Look for more updates in the next few days- I’ll be out of touch again starting June 16.

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Our crew, plus the lovely Lisa (basecamp flight manager) with Denali in the background.

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Somehow, I ended up shotgun for the flight out.

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Not a bad day in the range…